OUR STAPLE DIET          - 22/ 12/ 2004      <--Prev : Next-->

OUR STAPLE DIET !

I now know how I am going to make my fortune....

I am going to order a container full of staples from China for the Post Office and the Bulawayo Municipality to use on the statements that they send out every month !!

Oh yes, have you tried to open an account from The Posts and Telecommunications in Zimbabwe, or from the beleaguered Municipalities country wide ?

Well, trust me you need a) stamina b) strong fingernails or a staple remover and c) a wastepaper basket without holes.

Opening one's mail in Zimbabwe these days is an different experience !!

It all happened when some bright spark decided that envelopes were just too darn expensive and that our accounts were going to be posted to us neatly folded ...... and stapled....

But no one told the distribution clerks that one staple is quite sufficient when used carefully in a strategic spot !! Either that or the distribution clerks have a perverted sense of humour, or perhaps they are always in a bad move the day they send out the accounts.

I received my City of Bulawayo statement last months with no less than five staples in in where one would have done the trick perfectly.

Envelopes are biodegradable mark you and metal staples are not.

Imagine just how much metal is filling our landfills now, pretty soon the whole country will be so full of metal emanating from the discarded staples that we will become a higher lightening risk area than we already are !

I promise to let you all know when I have made my first millions on my staple diet !!

And talking about the cost of envelopes which is prohibitive, let me tell you that I purchased a single sheet of Christmas wrapping paper and it cost me $7900.00 (I will repeat that ... yes .. seven thousand nine hundred Zimbabwe dollars ) !! For a single sheet of wrapping paper ?

It's going to be a costly Christmas this year.....

The cost of sending a Christmas card to Europe is forty eight thousand Zimbabwe dollars !! A Christmas Card to the USA or Asia is sixty four thousand Zimbabwe dollars and that's early posting, if you wake up to sending your cards late, the cost will be a whole lot more.

Now check this out... we Zimbabweans have always had a penchant for Christmas Mince Pies, one has to eat one Christmas Mince Pie for each happy month in the year ahead. Now to make one Christmas Mince pie this year will cost about thirty thousand dollars if you cost in the ingredients and the electricity !

But on a good note I saw them putting up the Christmas lights outside the park yesterday and trust me a visit to town to buy last minute gifts should be a giggle !!