CIVILISATION !!
- 9/ 12/ 2004 <--Prev : Next-->
CIVILISATION !!
Having just spent a couple of weeks in Oz visiting "She who must Run" I
have decided that it is indeed a very civilised place.
For instance... the drivers do not accelerate when they see you trying
to cross a pedestrian crossing....
There are Designated Drivers at every function instead of Designated
Drinkers !!
The shops are air conditioned and the air conditioning even works, and
the policemen are there to service the law instead of being there to
terrorise the locals !!
There are too many rules and regulations however for most of us who
were born in Zimbabwe - which is fast becoming the African version of
the Wild Wild West !!
They say the Americans have invented their own version of the English
language, but trust me the Australians have their very own special
version of "English as She is Spoke"
Take for instance the new words that the Aussies have introduced into
Websters !!
Now "G'day Mate" of course is a well known greeting which takes the
place of "How are you my friend" or "Good Afternoon my Man "
The Australian also reduces most words to end with an "O"
It's a "Servo" instead of service station, a "conveno" instead of
convenience store, "milko" is the name given to the poor old milkman.
And any Aussie worth his salt knows what a "smoko" is - its a smoke
break of course.
A woman is not referred to as a girl or a lady but a "Sheila" !!
The wonderful English language is so cannibalised that instead of
saying "Well done my man, jolly good show what" the term
"you done good mate" is now used instead !!
And an Australian who is going down to toddle off to the shop says he
is
"Going down the shop but"
But what ?
Nobody knows....
There are rules and regulations for everything, some love it, some hate
it !! For instance I have been lead to believe there Oz Authorities
have introduced New Alcohol Labelling Legislation .....
Due to increasing products liability litigation, liquor manufacturers
have accepted the recommendation of State (except Queensland) and
Federal Govt's that the following warning labels be placed immediately
on all varieties of booze containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can
sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 in the
morning. etc etc......
Michele Macmillan has written a very amusing little book entitled "The
Diary of An African princess" well worth a good laugh and a good read
if you are thinking of joining the unenlightened masses who are
contemplating leaving us for Down Under........
