MY HORSE HAIR SHIRT          - 21/1/2007      <--Prev : Next-->

I have been wearing my horsehair shirt for five days now. It must be penance for all the bad things I have done in my life.

I suppose if could be worse, I cannot for the life of me think just how much worse, but after all, I did have over 4000 addresses in my address book before it crashed !!

At first I did not panic as HeeHoo usually successfully sorts out my peripheral problems, but he was sadly absent from my life and cyberspace waits for no man.

Being a totally spoilt Apple Mac User, it was difficult to function with an absolutely empty address book, kind of like losing a limb !! And so I limited my modem moments to corresponding with close friends and family whose addresses I was able to remember.

Two days later HeeHoo was still unable to offer his expertise and so I Skyped my Mac Expert Davey who lives in the First World.

His day is my night and so I conversed with him rather erratically as he was trying to deep fry his extra Thanksgiving Turkey and possibly treating himself to a couple of Keystone Lights !!

He kept me on my toes by using such jargon as "sync" and "back up" and "Restore " and became quite sexist (in the nicest possible way bless his heart) about my ability or rather lack of ability on my narcoleptic keyboard....

But he did, from thousands of miles away, help me to retrieve 589 of my precious missing e mail addresses !!

The frustrating thing was that I could see them all sitting jeering at me from the dotmac web-site !! All 4089 of them, cruelly, heartlessly, callously telling me that the only way I could reach them was to do it manually. Yes, you know, the dumb blond way, the female way, one by one by one by one.

I can do it in my sleep now, cut, paste, copy, open new, paste save.... ad nauseam, ad infinitum, one by one by one by one zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

My horse hair shirt is itchy and scratchy, my fingers are in fragments, I have a monstrous case of RSI, my neck is crook, my back is crick and I need a tranquilliser desperately.

Right now, at this moment in time, I am up to 1691 sitting snugly in my cheshire cat grinning evil address book. I am but half way eeeeek.

However, as much as it has been an exercise in patience and perseverance, it also made me do a lot of digital housekeeping.

OUT - anyone whose name I do not recall. Out - went quite a few duplications, into "pending" went people to whom I owed correspondence, into the trash went those folk who have not bothered to pay for their adverts.....

In fact I tried to persuade myself that this sort of mindless, awful flogging was in a way perhaps cathartic ?

I fondly remembered all those who had left the country, looking at all the addresses that had changed from dot co dot zw to dot za, dot nz and dot com. ,

I sympathised empathised, suffered and snivelled with all those ho have to spend all day on a keyboard, and I promised, pledged, and pleaded with myself that I would back up everything, always irrevocably, every single solitary day......for ever and ever amen.......