Uncle Dave's T shirt, as he waved us all goodbye at
the airport, read "I survived my dysfunctional family
at Christmas !"
He did survive ..... but it was touch and go..... You
try putting three dilly Zimbabwean blonds, one lovely
Kazakhstan, one Shane Warne supporter, and one long
suffering father, all together in one house for three
weeks with one errant Republican brother in law !!
Our children had inadvertently made a rule when they
left home entitled the "three thousand mile rule"
Understandably this rule enforces a pretty wide
distance between offspring and parents !!
But rules are meant to be broken and our large and
growing family tries by all means possible, to be
together for at least every other Christmas.
Bulawayo has always been home, and most Christmases
have been traditionally spent in Bulawayo where the
weather is still and sultry, where there is absolutely
no sign within a thousand miles of anything resembling
snow and a "White" Christmas, and the swimming pool
is usually the focal point of activities. !!
We always try and do the traditional thing, gifts
opened early under the Christmas tree combined with
mince pies, Christmas cake and walnuts, brazil nuts,
pecan nuts all to be wrestled with, via an antique
nutcracker, accompanied by copious cups of Tanganda
Tea.
Much later we cook up a giant meal which is totally
unsuitable to the tropics, but is a legacy of our
British up bringing !
Roast turkey, glazed ham covered in pineapple and
cherries, roast potatoes and four veg, followed by ice
cream and a Downings Christmas pudding.
The latter is stuffed with little silver charms.
(remember the horse shoe, the tiny slipper, the piggy
amongst others) and of coursea couple of sterilised
silver coins carefully kept from the days in which we
had coins in Zimbabwe....!!
On the last family gathering two years ago, we decided
on Bulawayo as a communal meeting place, and a slight
setback in plans brought about a nine hour sojourn at
the Plumtree border post...... which made sure that
this year we chose an easier rendezvous point, and
once again we chose Texas !!
Texas is the country of superlatives so it is easy (if
pricey)to keep the family amused here. Ice Hockey, the
rodeo, Billy Bobs, many trips to the various malls and
many festive Mexican margarita meals made up a happy
twenty one days.
We have many precious Christmas family traditions, one
of which is armchair sportsmanship, but over the years
it has become necessary to install a demilitarised
zone between the opposing sports teams at the dining
room table.
Much friendly bantering and "chirping" ensues between
those folk affiliated to the Boks and those who have
found it necessary to support certain other inferior
teams like the Wallabies for example !!
An obligatory "after turkey cricket game" is usually
played, but as the Texas temperature was minus
something, we decided to stay indoors and watch the
Cowboys game instead.
It was a delicate and tactical move as it is not easy
to form a cricket team with such a plethora of
nationalities as we now have in most Zimbabwean
families..... Just imagine the Bok supporters taking
on the Wallabies after a few glasses of Champagne !!
Now each family member is either a gourmet cook or a
gourmet eater, so this makes feeding the mob
relatively easy. We had in turn traditional Zimbabwe
fare, traditional Russian Fare, some Ozzo grub and of
course a number of Texan rib eye steaks....
Being an Apple Macintosh computer orientated family,
it is easy to entertain ourselves, just buy one member
of the family a new mac for Christmas and the entire
family gets involved in giving computer lessons.
We are a quirky family and of course there is always a
lotto run by the men as to how many rolls of loo paper
the girls are going to use over Christmas !!
We can always find an excuse for a party, we have
present wrapping parties, tree decorating parties,
light hanging parties and a party each time we get
back from the airport after collecting another son or
daughter, completely frazzled after a thirty hour trip
from some remote God forsaken corner of the world.
One of the best things about a Texas Christmas is the
lights. Each and every house is beautifully decorated
with trillions of pretty white or coloured lights, and
many pleasant if chilly evenings are spent walking or
driving around to see the Christmas lights.
One thing I did notice this year was that many more
homes featured a religious theme, a nativity scene or
a tiny crib. Maybe the Americans are at last making a
stand against the people who are trying to take Christ
out of Christmas......
Sadly we had no "babies" with us this year, but we did
buy a Barbie Doll for our new daughter in law from
Kazakhstan who has never possessed a Barbie doll !!
I must confess however that here are no nicer
Christmas activities than putting together a
gingerbread house and undertaking an edible
gingerbread jigsaw puzzle !!
Christmas Carols are of course mandatory, although
with so many young adults around, there were a few
animated discussions as to the suitability of the more
modern Christmas Carols.
Mother eventually pulled rank and totally and
unequivocally banned any rap carols by Eminem and
Tupac after looking at the titles, one of which was
"My Ghetto Christmas" and the other which basically
depicted Christmas as a four letter word !!
And so the family went back meekly to Celine Dion's
"Oh Holy Night" although I did make a concession to
"Silent Night" done by Mannheim Steamroller !!
HeeHoo always manages to get the last word and began
to play his favourite Christmas Carol - "Leeuloop" as
loud as he possibly could...and as often as he
could.....
The after lunch Christmas movie also caused a little
angst and several favourites were mooted, like The
Nativity Story", "The Night before Christmas" and of
course "Scrooge" plus "How the Grinch stole Christmas"
When there began a tussle between the Old Grey Hairs
and the Young Moderns showing a propensity to watch
the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre".... to save a family
rift ..... Hee Hoo made a very undemocratic decision
to watch a tape of THE Cricket match, (the greatest of
match of all time I gather) ..... where in 2006....
S.A. scored something like 438 runs in fifty overs
against the hapless Aussies !!
Now another very bad family trait has emerged recently
I have noticed ... namely " How to divert Moms
attention from dragging us off to Church on Christmas
Eve "
However Highland Village is deep inside the legendary
Bible Belt, and I was convinced that I would have the
upper hand this year with these hapless heathens of
mine.......
A stiff upper lip British Christmas comprises
crackers, Charlie's home made mince pies, Downings or
Woolies mince meat pudding and brandy sauce !!
As these strange items are unknown in Texas, most of
these had to be smuggled past the Eagle Eye of the US
Customs !!
Minute attention is paid to detail right down to the
provision of a couple of miniatures of Bols brandy for
the Brandy Pudding, imagine (horrors) brandy sauce
made with Jack Daniels !!
Eggnog parties are another necessary component of a
Kriel Christmas, and much grating of nutmeg, swirling
of cinnamon sticks and clinking of glasses makes sure
there is Christmas spirit a plenty.
But one can always make time for deep meaningful
family conversation, when one sees one's offspring so
seldom.
DMC sometimes gets a bit much though when the bird
needs to be stuffed, the broccoli needs to be blanched
and the ham needs to be decorated and glazed !!
Pressure, pressure, pressure..... the dishes are the
worst, why we cannot all meet in Bulawayo where
Charlie loves to do the dishes, I do not know......
In Texas, Brother In Law Dave, gets tetchy about his
dishwasher, the sewage system always gives up the
ghost, usually on Christmas Eve, but the shops, but
the glorious shops are always full to bursting with
wonderful goodies, and more often than not .... open
for business.
Christmas Day, New Years Day, Boxing Day, its a twenty
four hour society so no horror amongst horror that you
might have forgotten the cranberry sauce !!
Sister Goodill. What a kind and caring lady, we are
so sad to learn of her untimely death. Our most
sincere sympathy to Mr Goodill and to all her family
Peggy Stone, who she looked after so sympathetically,
and daughter. Thank you.
SISTER GOODILL - Beloved by so many Bulawayans, she
will be sorely missed.
For a wonderful lady: Elisabeth Goodill
It was such a sunny day when you came our way
You visited often, delivering a word and a smile
A gentle hand of encouragement
bathed in love and compassion for all.
Every journey has to end, and yours is over.
We have learned much from you...patience, love,
understanding, kindness and endurance.
A butterfly on earth has emerged as angel in heaven.
We, who are left have much work to do
Watch over us and show us how.
From: hjclark@dynabyte.bw
Could you please advise the Bulawayo public in general
and the swimming fraternity in particular that we have
just been notified of the passing of Douglas James in
Port Elizabeth on the 1st January after a painful
illness age 41.
Doug and Cheryl (his sister) will be remembered for
their contribution to swimming for many years in
Bulawayo at Provincial and National Level. Douglas
leaves a wife and two children.
Please add to this our heartfelt sympathy for Maureen
and Ken, Karen and family (in America) and Cheryl and
family in Johannesburg. We will always remember the
good times we shared.
From Peggy Tony and Richard Morgan
And Kim, Simon, Tyler and Toni Bloomhill from Cape
Town
Wilf Bowden who went to Rhodesia in 1956 and taught at
Baines School, Tennyson School, Headmaster of Lochview
school,which he vastly improved, and Shabani School.
He put his heart and soul into his teaching. On
retirement he decided to go to South Africa and then
later joined my brothers in Brisbane where he had a
wonderful few years. He died from cancer, aged 85, on
25th October,2006. His wife, Ron is well aged 86 after
having nursed Wilf to the end. He will be so sorely
missed by Ron, Gill (guest407@btinternet.com), Simon and Nicholas and his
six granddaughters. I,m sure some of his ex pupils
might remember him.
CONDOLENCES
Rosemary Bowes (Rosie) passed away on Tuesday morning,
2 January at the Mater Dei Hospital in Bulawayo.
A well loved lady who will be missed by all,
especially her daughters,
Kate and Ashley.
A memorial service will be held this week at a date to
be advised.
DEATH NOTICE
WIDDOWS Anthony (Tony) Beloved brother of Terri
brother-in-law of Richard and uncle of Simon and
Leigh-ann Wakefield died in Johannesburg on the 4th
January, 2007 after a short illness bravely borne, we
will miss you, rest peacefully with the Lord.
Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see
the whole staircase, just take the first step.
--Martin Luther King Jr.
True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It
is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever
cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost.
--Arthur Ashe
On the 1st day of Christmas,my true love said to me,
I'm glad we bought a turkey and a real Christmas tree.
On the 2nd day of Christmas,much laughter could be
heard,
as we tucked in to our turkey,a most delicious bird.
On the 3rd day of Christmas came the people from next
door
and the turkey tasted just as good as it had the day
before.
On the 4th day of Christmas poor gran was looking old
so we finished up the Christmas pud and had the turkey
cold.
On the 5th day of Christmas,outside the snowflakes
flurried
but we were nice and warm inside and had the turkey
curried.
On the 6th day I must admit,the Christmas spirit died.
The children fought and bickered,we ate turkey
rissoles,fried.
On the 7th day of Christmas,my true love he did wince
when he sat down at the table and was offered turkey
mince.
Day 8 and nerves were getting frought,the dog had run
for shelter.
I served up turkey pancakes with a glass of Alka
Seltzer.
On the 9th day the cat left home and by lunchtime Dad
was blotto.
He said he'd had to have a drink to face turkey
risotto.
By the 10th day the booze had gone except our homemade
brew
And if that wasn't bad enough,we suffered turkey stew.
On the 11th day of Christmas the Christmas tree was
moulting,
the mince pies were as hard as rock and the turkey was
revolting.
On the 12th day my true love had a smile upon his
lips.
The guests had gone,the turkey too and we dined on
fish and chips.
ANON
INSPIRATION
In one hand I have a dream, and in the other I have an
obstacle. Tell me, which one grabs your attention?
Henry Parks
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
-- Mother Teresa
Ian Douglas Smith
So many of you wrote asking about Mr Smith I thought I
would just send a
sitrep.
Mr Smith is really great. He has his off days like
anyone his age, but most
of the time he is fine.
Every now and then one of us goes too far, and 'the
look' is there in a
flash. He still has an
absolutely incredible memory of names and events, but
struggles slightly
with new people and
everyday stuff - especially when he is tired. Working
at a Retirement Centre
I can tell you that is
perfectly normal.
Unfortunately he does tire easily these days, so the
family have regrettably
had to rule out
visitors completely - unless they go through Jean
(Tholet). There is still
the odd luncheon with the
Rugby chaps, RRAF or old friends and family, and of
course Mr Smith still
loves coming to our Rhodie
Pensioners Teas here at Nerina Gardens, but that is as
far as it goes. I am
sure you all agree he
has more than earned his retirement. Having said that,
he is always asking
me what he can help me
with. Wonder how many Prime Ministers you can say that
about hey?
This photo was taken at the Rhodes and Founders
Luncheon last year when he
'smelled' a Reporter. He
was right on the button of course!
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