If one can hold out long enough, the produce will be brought right to
one's door step!!
Along with many people in Zimbabwe, I have an aversion to paying for
my car radio license, the reason being, I do not ever listen to the
local radio stations.
In addition radio licenses are normally purchased at a Post Office
where queues and I do not have happy connotations and consequently I
"forget" to purchase a radio license until I am compelled to do so ....
However I had no choice in the matter recently when the wrath of the
law descended upon me during a fully manned 10 person roadblock
comprising several law enforcement officers and several Zimbabwe
Broadcasting Corporation licensing employees.
It was a cordial affair, pay half a million on the spot, or get down
to the ZBC town office and pay half a million dollar plus an extra
quarter of a million dollar fine !!
Cash or cheque both quite acceptable and out came a giant license
book festooned with no less than four colours on good bond paper, so
each license probably cost more to print than the cost of the
license !!
However being of the lazy variety especially on a chilly winters day,
I asked the charming official if I needed to bring HeeHoo's car down
so I could get him a license too in these comfortable surroundings !!
Oh no need, said she, how many do you want. The thought of the saving
was too great for my capricious mind and so I bought licenses for all
the cars, all the office cars and a couple for good friends. All I
had to do was write the license number in later and I could also pay
by cheque !!
Such home comforts. Into the car climbed the official and
industriously began to write out dozens on licenses for me in a most
affable and efficient manner.
No need to queue, no need to even get out of the car, no need to
carry around a giant sack of money to pay for it all either, such
excellent service from His Majesty's Government !!
BIRTHS
The Lord has blessed Steven & Melania Hunter with twin daughters
Morgan Jamie & Kayla Alison on the 28th April 2006 in Johannesburg
South Africa. Also precious grand-daughters to Nick and Alison
Lambros. Mom and girls are well.
Condolences
Thompson - Andrew
We mourn the sad loss of Andrew, a true gentleman, friend & business
associate. Deepest sympathy to Pam and all Andrew's family, who will
miss him dearly.
Colin, Val and all at the IMF Group of Companies
Ian Milton died on Saturday night, 29 April, after a long illness
which he endured without complaint and with courage and his never-
failing sense of humour.
Ian is one of our longstanding members who seems to have been around
forever - for the last 30 years in fact. He was a dedicated and
knowledgeable bird enthusiast who travelled extensively in all
directions on birdwatching expeditions. His journeys took him to
Wales, Trinidad and South America, and an epic trip from Northern
Rhodesia to Kenya by caravan passing through Tanganyika, Nyasaland
and all parts east.
We offer our deepest sympathy to Eileen and the family - Ian will be
very sadly missed.
A memorial service for Ian has been arranged for Wednesday, 3 May,
3.00 pm at Farleys Chapel, Jason Moyo/3rd Avenue, Bulawayo.
NEVILLE JOEY PASSED AWAY 5 MAY 2006
Darling Mother of Shirley, Grandmother of Alan and Philip.
We had fun over the years. Miss and love you always.
Love Shirley Johnny Alan Philip and Families
Dearest Mother of Iris Grandmother of Desray and Gary
Great-granny of Courtney. A very special person, rest
peacefully Gran, we love you so very much, and will
miss you desperately.
Love Iris Dave Desray Gary Louise and Courtney.
Loving Grandmother of Neville and Josie, Great Grandmother
of Donna, Adrian And Shaun, Great Great Grandmother of
Luke and Megan, will be sadly missed but forever loved.
Love Neville and Josie
Dearest Gran of Cheryl and Alan, Great Grandmother of
Leigh, Sheldon and Greg may you rest in peace, you will be missed
and forever in our hearts.
Love Cheryl and Alan.
Granny of Brian, Michael and Bobbie, we will love you forever and
you will be remembered always.
Love Brian Michael Bobby and Families.
Granny such a wonderful person now happily at peace. We'll miss you
so much.All our love Sue, Carol, Amanda and Murray
Dearest Gran of Alan, will miss you Gran
Love Alan Bonny and Tyler
Beloved Aunt of Norman & Yvonne & Family.
We will miss you so much. Deepest sympathy
to all the family our thoughts and prayers are with you all.
I will miss you so much love Annie
Deepest sympathy to all the family. She will be sorely missed love
all the Mustards - R S A
Deepest sympathy to all the family love Roy Norma
Arthur Renel and family - RSA
We are so sorry on the passing of Aunty Joe- Deepest sympathy
to all the family love Dennis Ann and Family.
HOLL - Cynthia. Much loved mother of Linda, Gavin, Cheryl and Janine,
Granny of Rene' , Gavin, Vivienne, Erica, Wade, Dane and Oliver and
Great Grandmother of Matthew and Kai. A wonderful, brave lady whose
naughty sense of humour will never be forgotten. Free now from
illness and pain. We will love and cherish you forever.
Young,reliable and honest blue eyed male seeking employment,10 yrs
experience in the transport industry at general management
level,willing to try something new.
contact 091303779
To The Meadows family,on behalf of all ex Zimbabwean Cricket Players
living and playing cricket here in Britain,it came as quite a
shock,to hear of Keith's death.
We have fond memories of Keith sitting in the dressing room with us,
at Queens.., after One Days or Tests.
Our thoughts are with you all at this time
From
The Andy & Grant Flower Essex County Cricket Club
Ray Price Worcestershire
County Cricket Club
Darryl Leith Surrey County
Cricket Club
Heath Streak Warwickshire County
Cricket Club
Sean Irvine Hampshire County
Cricket Club
Keith will Always be in our thoughts.
from
Ex players and dressing room staff
DAN VAN DER BYL
We were all saddened to hear the passing of our long time friend Dan,
in Harare on Thursday May 4th. You have finally gone to the "Big
Dojo in the sky". Our thoughts and prayers are with Wendy, Tracey,
Mark and their families, as well as Dan's brothers.
From Mike, Maureen, Caroline and David Wells in Canada.
A brief
Introduction
to the
Zimbabwe Theory of Quantum Mathematics
Also known as
Bobenomics
The day is very hot and you are passing the Keg and Sable in
Borrowdale, so naturally you go in for a nice cold beer. The barman
informs you that
One beer
now costs
150 000 Zimbabwe dollars
You can pay with three crisp new $50 000 notes, still damp from the
printing press. Or, if you are feeling a bit bloody-minded, and if
you can still source the coins ( remember those things : they were
still quite common a few years ago ) you can sit back and enjoy a
beer while the barman counts out
15 000 000 Zimbabwe one cent coins
But hold it ! We have a problem.
Each Zim one cent coin weighs 3 grams
So this little lot weighs in at
45 000 000 grams
or
45 000 kgs
or
45 Tonnes
After humping 45 tonnes of coins into the pub you are going to need a
helluva lot more than one beer to cool down. But don`t panic - we
have a plan. Like all brilliant ideas this one relies entirely on its
simplicity.
Plan B : We sell the metal and drink the proceeds
There is a small legal question about smelting coin of the realm and
exporting the resulting brass ingots. However we'll let the buyer
worry about that one.
There doesn't seem to be an international price for brass. Its main
ingredient, copper, has recently been selling for an all-time high of
US $ 5 200 a tonne on the London Metal Exchange, but we won't be
greedy. For a quick sale let's discount it to
U S $ 2 600 a tonne
We are now the proud owners of
U S $ 117 000
But we still can't buy that beer as the Keg is only allowed to accept
Zimbabwe currency. We must resist the temptation to change our money
on the lucrative but illegal black market . So we change at the
prevailing interbank mid rate which is
U S $ 1 : Zim $ 99 201,58
Our heap of U S green-backs now miraculously becomes a mountain of
Zim $ 11 606 584 860
For the uninitiated the billions start at the tenth figure, counting
from the right.
So if the price of beer has not increased while we were doing this
calculation you can now walk back into the Keg and order
77 377 beers !
HAPPY DRINKING
P S For current inflationary reasons it is advisable to review these
figures on a daily basis.
ANON
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