"FLIED LICE"          - 3/ 8/ 2007      <--Prev : Next-->


I am really mad at myself...... HERE WAS A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY to make lots of money, and I missed it yet again.

I mean it could not have been more simple .... 6000 businesspeople have been arrested, that means 6000 men and women will be rushing around looking for lice lotion for their hair !!

How simple is that ... I could have purchased a 44 gallon drum of lice lotion, re packaged it into small a handy size container, and distributed it to pharmacies all over Zim.

Mostly in Matabeleland of course as we are the most unscrupulous businessmen in the country I gather !!

Labelling would have been fun ... a whole host of names spring to mind like "Mpofu's Magical Muti" or "Obert's Excellent Elixir".... and with so much most welcome Oriental influence it could have been called "Flied Lice" !!

I could have made a veritable fortune ... my mad friend Margot could have drawn me a picture of a nice juicy lice ( or is it a nice juicy louse) Instructions for use might have been a problem for the dastardly Matabele crew because I assume one needs water with which to apply the elixir and that is a bit of a problem in Bulawayo right now.

Another money making idea springs to mind a I speak... HeeHoo is sick to death he tells me, of bathing in a bucket, and so on my next trip to purloin meat and other such essentials in Bots, I must get some of those camping shower packs and sell them to all the poor smelly folk in Bulawayo, especially in Suburbs and Kumalo where there is a veritable drought as far as water goes.

Back to the old donkey boiler it might have to be it would seem..... those 44 gallon drums we used to store fuel in, could now be put to excellent use as donkey boilers. then you could stand under your camping shower, using nice hot water from the donkey boiler, and de louse your hair with Mpofus Magical Muti !!

Oh its all falling into place, no doubt I shall have to become the bread winner when Heehoo and the rest of Zimbabwe's Unscrupulous Businessmen all go out of business. Perhaps they will invite me back to work on ZBC so that I can help save the city as I did in 1993 during that particularly bad drought !!

But they don't pay too well and so I shall go back to the "lousy" job of working out ways to make my fortune out of the misfortune of others !!