I FEEL NEGLECTED!          - 14/10/2014      <--Prev : Next-->


All of my buddies have been fined by the traffic police for inane, inconsequential reasons, but they let me through the roadblocks every time.

As a nation we are all fuming, and I need to have my 'vent' too!!

Some of my buddies have even had their vehicles clamped!! Heaven help the fellow who decides my vehicle needs clamping in this heat!!

Now I know I am compliant in all things -I have all the right stickers on my window, I have no outstanding traffic fines. In fact I am squeaky clean, but spoiling for a fight.

When I do get stopped, it's my Southern Rhodesia Drivers license, issued in the dark ages, that renders the policemen speechless. Most of them are so young, they have never even heard of Southern Rhodesia!! With an incredulous 'eeish' I am waved through, they have never met anyone so old driving a car probably!!

My photo also leaves them astounded, taken at the tender age of sixteen, with a bouffant hairdo, I look like a cross between Dusty Springfield and Lady Gaga!!

However they did grab me once, I must confess, for the most ridiculous reason in the world!! Instructed to stop at a 'roadblock' on the Kezi road, the engaging gentleman, (who had not yet been to the 'smiling lessons' offered by the ZRP, strolled in a dilatory fashion around my vehicle. Unable to find anything to write home about, he ordered me to open my bonnet!! (aka hood)

Ever compliant although annoyed, I obeyed and he suddenly lunged into the engine and like a maniac started to wrench violently at my car battery!!

Now it's a modern car, it had all the bells and whistles, but he managed to, in his exertions, establish the most minuscule movement!

Aahaa !! He pronounced triumphantly, your battery is loose - twenty dollars please!!! Of course it was loose he had just shaken it loose!! 'And' he said as proud as punch, 'it does not have a clamp over the top, that another twenty!!'

HeeHoo tried in vain to explain that cars younger than the average Zimbo car, did not require a clamp, in fact clamps were not advisable from an electrical conduit point of view, but our erstwhile fellow was not to be deterred. He needed a lift to the nearest police station, and we either coughed up the fine, or we had to accompany him 'back to the office'!!

So perhaps I am not so squeaky clean after all In fact my battery now has a squeak as a result of that ferocious assault upon it!!