DIESEL AND DOG FOOD          - 18/3/2008      <--Prev : Next-->


Well well well who would have thought two very mature adults would have had such fun in their lives.

Fort Knox as we lovingly call our home, is hopefully impregnable, and we certainly proved it last night.

"HeHoo must Poitkje" had said earlier in the evening, that we should get lessons on how to get into the house, now that Charlie was no longer there, and he must have cast some juju on us with that statement !!

Yes we had a remote control to open the electric gate, yes we had a key to the front door, but what we had not counted on was the power cut.....

Fortunately Precious, the oldest of my four new beautiful daughters was there (as Charlie had always been) and she laughingly let Tweedledumb and Tweedledee into the house....

Precious also had a torch which was most useful in getting the generator started, but HeeHoo noticed it was perilously close to empty (it never would have been with Charles in Charge).

And so the fun began ...where was the diesel ? ... where was the funnel to pour the diesel into ? ...where was a cloth to loosen the cap of the diesel container ?....

With fumes belching furiously, and HeeHoo (after a very festive birthday party) valiantly trying to refuel the Genny, I set about feeding the eight Kriel Canines and Felines !!

Nosh time is usually three p.m. and it was now well after nine, so they were pretty sulky, but the noise from the generator (which resides in their bedroom) was spooking them, so food was flying everywhere and not much was going into empty rumbling tummies !!

The wind was uncharacteristicall y tearing around the house as if the Devils of Sod were laughing at us, and SLAM went the door between the kitchen and the rest of the house......

HeeHoo was now thoroughly disenchanted with domestic chores, the guard was outside waiting for his tea and peanut butter sandwich, and the door was firmly and vindictively closed.

No amount of tugging and lock picking would loosen the lock, and so a recce of Fort Knox was undertaken by the light of the only torch we could find.

It was a torch that we got from "SheHoo must Run", who has medical connections .. it was a torch used by surgeons to look at people's tonsils and into their eardrums, and it was the only one we could find in the kitchen !!

By this tiny beam we tried all known means of entry into Fort Knox .... the only person who had ever managed to break into our house successfully, had been hunter, safari legend and tracker, one Chris Hallamore, but things had changed in Zimbabwe since Chris left, and Fort Know was, we found, impregnable.

Another problem had arisen however, while I was putting down fresh dog water, I had not noticed that an army of little green hairy caterpillars had been looking for water and in the dark I put my delicate hands, firmly around the bowl and its array of green meanies .....

My fingers were on fire, hundreds of fiery green barbs attacked every single purple pinky, and the antihistamine was on the other side of the locked door....

There was only one solution, fortunately the tool cupboard was in the kitchen and HeeHoo, covered in Diesel, Dog Food and Peanut Butter, went about the demolition of one of the armoured plate glass windows..... .

It already had a crack in it from the lawn mower so we felt vindicated as far as the insurance company was concerned !!

I am sure Darling Charlie was, all the while, sitting there, on his dust free, beautifully clean cloud, laughing his socks off at us !!