Colour Blind !
- 29/1/2007 <--Prev : Next-->
IF YOU COME AND VISIT US HERE IN ZIMBABWE, DON'T FOR ONE MINUTE THINK
THAT THE RULES OF THE ROAD APPLY TO ANYONE AT ALL... EXCEPT POSSIBLY
YOURSELF......
THE ZIMBABWEAN PUBLIC HAS A COLOUR PROBLEM ....RED, GREEN AND ORANGE
ALL MEAN "GO" IT WOULD APPEAR !!! WE CALL OUR TRAFFIC LIGHTS ROBOTS,
YES, LIKE THOSE MECHANICAL THINGS THAT WALK AROUND WITH STIFF LEGS !!
IT CAUSE MUCH MIRTH WITH VISITORS BUT THEY LOSE THEIR SENSE OF HUMOUR
WHEN THEY SEE MOST PEOPLE TAKE ABSOLUTELY NO NOTICE OF REDS AND
ORANGES.
NOW, BE CAUTIONED AND TAKE MY ADVICE, DO NOT THINK THAT GREEN MEANS
YOUR RIGHT OF PASSAGE, TREAT EVERY ROBOT AS A STOP STREET AND PROCEED
WITH CAUTION.
DURING POWER CUTS, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE THINK THAT WE TREAT
OUR NON FUNCTIONING TRAFFIC LIGHTS AS A FOUR WAY STOP (AS THEY DO IN
THE REST OF THE CIVILISED WORLD)
OH NO SIREE, IF THE ROBOT IS NOT WORKING, ITS THE LAW OF THE JUNGLE
THAT TAKES OVER.... THE BIGGEST, FIERCEST, OLDEST BEAST IN THE JUNGLE
WINS...EITHER THAT OR IT'S THE FASTEST CAR TO THE MIDDLE !!
ANOTHER BIT OF ADVICE....BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN ZIMBABWE AND TOTALLY
IGNORE THE PEDESTRIAN CROSSINGS. IF YOU DO THE COURTEOUS THING AND STOP
FOR A PEDESTRIAN...THE FELLOW IN THE NEXT LANE WILL TAKE NO NOTICE AND
WIPE OUT THE POOR UNSUSPECTING PEDUS !!
THE ZEBRA STRIPES ARE ILLEGIBLE AT ANY RATE, THEY ARE USUALLY ON A BEND
OR ON THE BROW OF A HILL, WITH NO WARNING SIGNS OR LIGHTS, AND THE
PAINT IS SO FAINT YOU ARE HIGLY UNLIKELY TO BE ABLE TO SEE THEM AT
ANY-RATE...
ALSO YOU WASTE A LOT OF TIME TRYING TO GENTLY SHOO A PEDESTRIAN TO
CROSS IN FRONT OF YOU, COS BELIEVE ME, HE AIN'T GONNA TRUST YOU, NO
WAYS WILL HE BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO PUT YOUR FOOT FLAT THE
MOMENT HE STEPS OF THAT FIRST WHITE LINE !!
VEHICLE ROAD WORTHINESS IS ANOTHER INTERESTING ASPECT OF ZIMBABWEAN
DRIVING...WHO ON EARTH WOULD EXPECT ONE TO HAVE EITHER HEAD LIGHTS OR
TAIL LIGHTS...DON'T BE SILLY, LIGHTS ARE FOR SISSIES ....
MAKE SURE YOU PEER HARD INTO THE DARK AND SUSS THE ROAD OUT CAREFULLY
BEFORE CROSSING, AS THOSE CARS WITHOUT LIGHTS ALWAYS COME OUT AT NIGHT
AS THERE ARE NO POLICE AT NIGHT TO CATCH THEY OF COURSE !!
MIND YOU, IT WOULD APPEAR THAT THE POLICE AND THE CITY COUNCIL ARE
DOING THEIR BEST THESE DAYS TO ELEVATE US FROM THE STATUS OF BEING THE
WILD WEST OF SOUTHERN AFRICA THANK GOODNESS. MUCH MUTTERING IS BEING
HEARD FROM ERRANT CITIZENS WHO HAVE HAD THEIR CARS CLAMPED IN NO
PARKING AREAS.
THE MAYORESS OF DUNCAN ROAD AND THE MUSICAL MAYOR OF TOWNSEND ROAD WERE
BOTH SEEN RECENTLY TROTTING DOWN TO THE REVENUE HALL, TO PAY FINES AND
RELEASE THEIR AUTOMOBILES......
