MY ECCENTRIC CHRISTMAS TREE

Old age has its advantages and one of them is that one is allowed to become just slightly eccentric. My nephews and nieces call me "Aunty Dotty" and my family have only just learned to tolerate my odd habits with a lot of eyebrow raising and eye rolling.

For instance HeeHoo has at long last learned not to get irate over my obsession with fine linen napkins. He knows how much I abhor paper napkins (not "serviettes" Mrs Beeton always says they are called napkins not serviettes !!) Not to be confused of course with a napkin for a baby !!

Zimbabwe must have the most minuscule paper napkins in the world, and at one time when things were costly, some restaurants would even carefully cut the already tiny paper napkins in half for their customers. And so I have learned to carry a beautifully starched pure white king size damask napkin in my handbag. In my book restaurants are rated not by their culinary prowess and their gastronomic delights but by the quality and size of their napkins !!

Another foible I profess to have, is my Christmas tree fetish. We have a number of delightful Christmas ornaments collected from all over the world, and somehow or other they never seem to be in the correct place at Christmas time necessitating the need for them to travel with us.

A beautifully decorated tree is paramount and the decor is all important and so the giant box of silver and blue and red and gold trinkets needs to be moved regularly across the border. Fortunately HeeHoo was not traveling with me this year or he most certainly would have had a sense of humour failure. He would undoubtedly have objected to my hand luggage which comprised an enormous paper bag of glittery sequined baubles far too fragile to be entrusted to a suitcase.

How was I to know the bossy lady at the x ray machine was not going to be sympathetic to my precarious packet ? I made sure that they were after all easily accessible to inspection, and it was hardly my fault that the conglomeration of baubles, bangles and beads all tipped out inside the x ray machine.... How was I to know that glitter was detrimental to the x-rays ? How was I to know that the strings used to hang them on the Christmas tree would get tangled in the levers of the conveyor belt ?

Honestly they get quite petty at airports these days !! Anyone would have thought I had deliberately tipped the packet up inside the x-ray machine !! There were little red and gold balls running wild all over the place, and the silver and midnight blue ones looked like escapees from the Cirque Du Soleil !! It was pandemonium for a few delicious moments with passengers rushing around deliriously catching these elusive orbs as they dashed frivolously all over the airport. My "Little Old Dotty Lady" act came into play and fortunately the security staff was in a festive mood, and all was forgiven.

Now all that needs to be done is to decorate our simple spray painted sisal Christmas trees and they will indeed look much more beautiful that that ostentatious one from Abu Dhabi that cost eleven million dollars !!

Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around. --Henry David Thoreau