The Great Dane and the Forklift

Anyone who has owned a Great Dane will have empathy with my little tale of woe.

We have an elderly, most regal Great Dane of majestic proportions, with a heart the size of a lion and a gentle dignity second to none.

Her name is Victoria Jane and she is a legend in the neighborhood, as was her brother Winston who died some years ago.

Victoria is a lady, for although she stands hip high, she barks like a lady, walks like a model on a ramp, and eats in a dainty ladylike fashion. But sadly time has taken its toll and the Dear Old Grand Dame has mislaid her potty training rules.

We love her far too much to do anything except understand, after all, are we not going to be old too one day ?

But recently she came close to being my very "unfavourite dog".

Now Great Danes are not outside dogs, anyone will tell you that. They are couch dogs, double bed dogs, indeed Victoria has her own double bed mattress that gets parked all over the house .... anywhere that mother is, Victoria likes to have her foam bed close by.

It is not an onerous chore, its quite light, and she is near the end of her days, and so where mother goes, goes the bed ....

In the morning it is a ritual, Victoria stands outside the bedroom french doors awaiting entry for morning tea.... those great dark Great Dane eyes staring longingly at our unkempt bed.

Eventually either HeeHoo or I relent and let her in but we sincerely hope that she has done her morning ablutions before she enters the house !!

Sadly she has forgotten the doggy toilet rules and we have the odd "accident" but she is a dignified old lady and knows that its not the done thing, but her mind and her body seem aloof from each other these days.

And so I found her, in that typical Great Dane ungainly position, squatting over the only Persian carpet in the house !! I did not dare move, I was frozen in horror as only a Great Dane owner will understand.

She caught sight of me out of the corner of her Great Dane eye, and that Great Dane Brain registered disbelief that she was actually being a bad girl indoors. And so she hopped, in a most indelicate fashion, dropping great dollops of dane doggy doodoo detritus from the one end of the Persian to the other !!

Now a pooper scooper, as Great Dane lovers well know, is no use for a dog this size. One needs a forklift !!

I thought I was remarkably restrained in my language, she is after all a most sensitive creature and was mortified at her wrong doing.

I gently let her out into the garden, google mapping the deposits which were well blended into the jewel colours of the carpet. She had done her darndest to make it as awkward a clean up operation as she could.

It was a gargantuan task, a task I did with gritted teeth, loving that proud old girl, and hating old age.

Was Man made to love a dog this much ??

Sadly a week after I wrote this tale, our beloved Vickie drew her last breath.

She had dedicated 12 wonderful years of enormous love and gentle protection to our little family, and from this we have learnt there is, after all, no greater love.