Morning Mirror Edition 308 - 8/11/2008


Bietbridge before the rains Arise Women Of Zimbabwe Sign in loo at Beitbridge Border S.A. side
     

In this edition

Smalls


TRAFFIC JAM BLUES AND BLOOPERS



I am sure childbirth was not as difficult as this !! Such pain, such excruciating pain, nothing could take it away except a helicopter landing on the stricken N1 from Johannesburg to Pretoria !!

A four hour long traffic jam .... It was a normal Joburg rainy morning I gather, but I should NOT have had two quick cups of tea and two cups of coffee before setting off with HeeHoo for a meeting with the Power-Of-Two in Pretoria in peak morning traffic.

I will always remember a film I saw of a fellow who was car jacked, he needed the loo so very badly but the car jacker would not allow him to stop for the pleasure !!

It obviously impacted on my sub conscious as it was all I could think of for four hours six minutes and 19 seconds !!!

WHAT DOES ONE DO !!??

I ask you, with tears in my eyes, when one needs the loo in a traffic jam where there is no where to hide ?

In Zim, we do not have traffic jams, the only traffic jam is for exactly six minutes at exactly 7.30 when the kids are being dropped off at school ..... so I have not been schooled in the gentle art of "do not drink coffee before setting off on the Highway !"

A potty perhaps ? A Guzunder ? A commode ? Maybe even a coffee cup could have sufficed I was in such a stressful state. The seat belt too was not helping, it got tighter and tighter across my abdomen with every cruel kilometre. I even thought longingly of the incredibly disgusting "comfort station" which had been at my disposal in jail !!

HeeHoo was not helping either, it was pouring with rain (piddling with rain even !!) and the sight of all that moisture pouring across the windows was adding to my unmitigated sheer agony.

Knowing we were going to be awfully late for our rendezvous, HeeHoo was streaking along, (where he could) which was not often I must say, jamming on brakes too early too compensate for the slippery roads, totally oblivious to my distress.

Distracted and frustrated he was not very receptive to suggestions as to how he should be driving, and not generally known for my tactful silences, even I was totally unable to protest, in fact I could not utter a single word I was in such distress ....

There were major roadworks taking place ... the brand new Gautrain railway line was being constructed before our very watering eyes !

Johannesburg outgrew its road systems five years ago, and the outcome has been dreadful traffic congestion all day, every day, resulting in road-raged drivers, accidents caused by impatient angry commuters, but sadly, no portaloos have been constructed along the verges.

I tried to distract myself by looking at the cars, South Africa cars are a lot smaller than the cars in the USA - that is one thing I noticed.South African cars are a lot more modern than Zimbabwe cars, I can vouch for that !! Proud I was ... of the eco -friendly population amongst which I have grown .... but even with this wonderful pride I was incapable of thinking of anything except "spending a penny" !!

I had heard of squad cars accompanying pregnant women to the maternity home and wondered with clenched teeth, if I could pull that one off, with the aid of HeeHoos pullover stuffed in the necessary area .......

The DJs on the radio show "The Rude Awakening" were droning on interminably and their lavatorial sense of humour was not doing me any good at all !!! HeeHoo was gruff and uncommunicative and not allowing me to be privy to his thoughts (oops wrong choice of words again !!)

I know the Comrades marathon runners will probably recommend their little invention called the "SheWee" but while this may well assist a marathon runner with a peculiar "inconvenient" problem it does not help with a gal "closeted " (no pun intended !!) in a vehicular crisis.

And so dear readers, who are more worldly than I .... Who travel on highways, Byways, and the like, for hour after painful hour !!

Please send in your succinct micturate answers to my next highway journey, should I ever choose to take one !!

CONDOLENCES





Click to jump to Internet photo:
Charlie Trollope - 11th Bulawayo(Riverside) Scout - 1972 www.angelfire.com/nb2/matabeles/11th/11th/11th-bulawayo-riverside-scout-troop.htm
Charlie Trollope
11th Bulawayo Scout - 1972





From:- Bulawayo Morning Mirror Extra - Charlie Trollope

The funeral of the late Charles Trollope will be held
at Our Lady of Lourdes Church, in Ludlow Hewitt Road, Kumalo
on Thursday 13 November 2008 at 3 p.m.


JOHN DE SMIDT

MUCH LOVED UNCLE AND COUSIN OF KEV, JANE, KYLE, HEYDEN AND JOHN, ROB, DEB, RYAN AND BRENDAN, DON, LIL, BRUCE AND SHAYNE

PASED AWAY TRAGICALLY IN JOHANNESBURG ON FRIDAY 31 OCTOBER 2008 AFTER A SHORT ILLNESS. HIS COMPASSION, GENEROSITY, LOVE AND GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR WILL BE GREATLY MISSED - REST IN PEACE SQUIRE

Memorial Service for the Late Anne Maclaren will be at
City Presbyterian Church
Saturday 15th November
at 10 am.

HUME, Hughie

Beloved Dad of Helen, Ronnie, Billy and families. Passed away, in Johannesburg, after a short illness on Saturday 18th October 2008. Will be sorely missed by all.

Contact details Kevin Volk
E-mail Address(es): kpvolk@vodamail. co.za

Anne Maclaren
Sadly passed away at 14.35 on Friday 31 October at Edith Duly

Dearly loved mother of Angie, Mac (Rodney), Desray Mother-in-law of Tony & Ken Grandmother of Desray, Nicola, Kyle, Jason, Tyler & Amy Great Grandmother of Dylan
She has gone to a better place and her suffering is over.

Mark Kriel
It said "to know you is to love you" and many of us did not have that honour. We however feel the pain echo'd in the voice of your Parents Mike And Felicity and brother Chris. It is to the family that all the management and staff at Acol Chemicals Holdings Harare Office extend their sincere condolences.

Mark Kriel
We heard with great shock of your sad loss, our deepest sympathy's to Mike, Felicity and Chris from Cuthbert, Tendai and Meki SMM Instruments


To All the Kriel family
Our deepest sympathy for your tradgic loss Our thoughts and prayers are with you all. Sincerely,

The McNeilage Family
Brisbane Australia.

It is with great shock that we have just learnt of the passing of Mercia Beverage, she was such a great person and a wonderful friend, she did so much to help us with our M.O.T.H. charity work.
Sleep peacefully my friend - no more pain. Deepest sympathy to Alex and family - our thoughts are with you.
George and Yvonne Sims
New Zealand carliwe@clear. net.nz

JONES

May we express our thanks to all our friends for their prayers, food, messages from far and wide, during the time of Tom's passing. We are so grateful to you for all your love and support. Love and God Bless you all,
Sally, Craig, Nookie, Gay, Mell and the Boys.


MERCIA BEVERIDGE LOVING WIFE OF ALEX, MOTHER OF BEVERLEY, LAURA AND KAREN PASSED AWAY ON 24 OCTOBER 2008.

THE MEMORIAL SERVIE WILL BE HELD AT 66 DUNCAN ROAD AT 9 AM ON SATURDAY 8 NOVEMBER. FOLLOWED BY THE WAKE WHICH WILL BE AT THE LIONS DEN MATOPOS ROAD AT THE MUNICIPALS SPORTS CLUB IN MORAY ROAD.


CONDOLENCES

PHYLIS COLEMAN - PASSED AWAY PEACEFULLY AT EDITH DULY ON THE 24TH OCTOBER 2008. SPECIAL THANKS TO ALL THE STAFF AT EDITH DULY AND DR. CHHANABHAI FOR THEIR CARE AND COMPASSION. ANYONE FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO HAVE A GRANNY LIKE OURS IS TRULY BLESSED. ROSY, ALAN AND KYLE SHEARING

PHYLIS COLEMAN - BELOVED MOTHER OF EDIE AND BUSTER, GRANNY OF GARY, DEREK, JENNY AND ALL THEIR FAMILIES IN SOUTH AFRICA AND TICKEY, MOYA, DEON AND WARREN IN AUSTRALIA. REST IN PEACE MOM/GRAN - YOU WERE AN AMAZING LADY.


JOHN DE SMIDT.
DIED IN JOHANNESBURG ON FRIDAY, 31ST OCT, 2008. A GENTLE, KIND AND CARING MAN WITH A WONDERFUL SENSE OF HUMOUR.
WILL MISS YOU, MY FRIEND. TOM, FARHANA AND BRENT.


Don Ferguson

It is with so much sadness that I convey my heartfelt sympathy to my dear friends Brenda, Michelle, Robin and the very precious duo on the departure of a loving and caring husband and doting father and grandfather. Bulawayo will not be the same without Don who was well known and loved by so many who had the privilege of knowing him. My thoughts and prayers are with you all
Much Love always
Liz Norman

TIDBITS


"Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength."

- Arnold Schwarzenegger -


ONLY OCTOBER

(in Southern Rhodesia circa 1942)

When your energy flags
And your nerves are in rags
And you don't like the people around you
And life has no worth
And you wish at your birth
Your parents had mercifully drowned you
When you feel raw and rash
And possessing the cash
Would very soon cease to be sober
Why then be quite sure
That you suffer no more
Than an average dose of "October"

When you find you must bark
At a casual remark
And your hatred is deep and intensive
For all criticisms
And small mannerisms
Of people seem very offensive
When all you attempt
Is never exempt
From a hundred and one complications
You're too hot to live
With a brain like a sieve
They're only October sensations

When you don't like your food
And you'd like to be rude
To those who prepare and provide it
And whatever their choice
You lift up your voice
And tell them you "cannot abide it"
(You might take some salts
for dietary faults,
say Epsom or Enos or Glauber)
But once we get rain
You'll be alright again
So Cheer up, it's only October!

Hylda Richards 1930/40's



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