I am really mad at myself...... HERE WAS A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY to make lots of money,
and I missed it yet again.
I mean it could not have been more simple .... 6000 businesspeople have been arrested,
that means 6000 men and women will be rushing around looking for lice lotion for their
hair !!
How simple is that ... I could have purchased a 44 gallon drum of lice lotion, re packaged
it into small a handy size container, and distributed it to pharmacies all over Zim.
Mostly in Matabeleland of course as we are the most unscrupulous businessmen in the
country I gather !!
Labelling would have been fun ... a whole host of names spring to mind like "Mpofu's
Magical Muti" or "Obert's Excellent Elixir".... and with so much most welcome Oriental
influence it could have been called "Flied Lice" !!
I could have made a veritable fortune ... my mad friend Margot could have drawn me a
picture of a nice juicy lice ( or is it a nice juicy louse) Instructions for use might have been
a problem for the dastardly Matabele crew because I assume one needs water with which
to apply the elixir and that is a bit of a problem in Bulawayo right now.
Another money making idea springs to mind a I speak... HeeHoo is sick to death he tells
me, of bathing in a bucket, and so on my next trip to purloin meat and other such
essentials in Bots, I must get some of those camping shower packs and sell them to all the
poor smelly folk in Bulawayo, especially in Suburbs and Kumalo where there is a veritable
drought as far as water goes.
Back to the old donkey boiler it might have to be it would seem..... those 44 gallon drums
we used to store fuel in, could now be put to excellent use as donkey boilers. then you
could stand under your camping shower, using nice hot water from the donkey boiler, and
de louse your hair with Mpofus Magical Muti !!
Oh its all falling into place, no doubt I shall have to become the bread winner when
Heehoo and the rest of Zimbabwe's Unscrupulous Businessmen all go out of business.
Perhaps they will invite me back to work on ZBC so that I can help save the city as I did in
1993 during that particularly bad drought !!
But they don't pay too well and so I shall go back to the "lousy" job of working out ways to
make my fortune out of the misfortune of others !!
MCCAUSLAND IAN
Our heartfelt sympathy to Margaret and family on the passing of our beloved Mr Mac,
founder member of Girls' College and long time colleague and friend who will be sadly
missed by everyone.
From Board of Governors, Headmistress, Staff and all at Girls' College.
DULCE ALLERS
Isaiah 25 : 8
The Sovereign Lord will wipe away
the tears from all faces.
Dulce has gone home.
Our prayers continue for you all,
Reuben, Zita, Emma and Family.
Our God reigns, Love Paul, Kim, Nicholas
Bert, Deirdre and David
VERA DAVISON (nee NIELSON)
Passed away in South Africa on 24/07/07 in her 84th year.
Loving Mother to Wynn and Brian (Davo)
Grandmother of Scott, Toni, Robert, Bruce, Yvonne and Lynette,
"TV" will be sorely missed.
Brett, Fi, Jamie and Gareth
Condolences
Andrew James Sim( Andy ) - loving husband of Julia and father of Alan passed away on
Sunday 22nd July in Auckland, New Zealand aged 82. He will be sadly missed by Julia (Snr)
, Alan, Julia and grandson James.
Julia's contact email zimfolk@xtra. co.nz
Mr & Mrs Craven
Sincere condolences to Laura, our thoughts are with you at this distressing time.
Mac & Helen McGann
j.g.mcgann@googlema il.com
Obituary
EMMETT - LIZ in Bulawayo on 20th July, 2007
Outstanding teacher and character- formerly of Rhodes Estate Prep. who set such a great
example for us all. May you rest in peace Liz.
With love from your Class of '66.
Liz, (Ma Mossop) what happy memories of R.E.P.S. days - and over forty years of
friendship sincere Thanks Liz. You are remembered with love and affection by many.
Deepest condolences to Veronica.
Martin
We have just learnt with sadness, of the passing of Mike George. We pride ourselves on
being related to Mike by marriage. He was a great but unassuming man who left the
world a better place as he passed through.
Liz, you are in our thoughts and prayers, and I shall play "Flowers of the Forest,' for you,
and in memory of Mike, and in gratitude for knowing him.
"What a day - What a headache" said my wife. "Take Anadin" I said hopefully. For after
action satisfaction I had my pack of Lexington on hand. I felt irresistible. After all, I had
the Colgate ring of confidence, and being on the right side of the money barrier, was now
a Rhobanker. I had just bought a sweep ticket (*) after a tip from Schhh..... you know who.
I was feeling confident, having a sizeable collection of Macey's green stamps. I had also
heard that my debt to Greatermans had been cancelled. It's true, I heard it on the radio -
You Pay No More At Greatermans. All those in favour, raise your yellow plastic Dishwallah
and say "HAU !" I was on my way to Scottish Jewellers when I saw a hot chick named
Olivine. (Clearly the Best.) She was the only one who knew where I could get my Bosal
Exhaust fitted. As I lit her Kingsgate cigarette, she whispered "The Rich Okes Get All the
Cherries Hay." I soon cheered up when I saw my friend Honey Beat, who said "I like it, I
like it, I love it"
"Pocket a Packet of Pascalls" murmured Hortense the Hippo, while giving the kids their
Royco Soup. "Soup makes you big like a giant" said one. "I hate it" said the other. Cashel
Valley Baked Beans (pleeeeze) cleared the air, although with a skin like yours I'd
recommend Phillips Milk of Magnesia. (Yeah, get the big bottle.) I was feeling out of focus,
so decided to have a Quick Click at Clintons before my meeting. "Nyore Nyore Zimbabwe
Furnishers" sang the Chairman as he Tabled his report at the meeting. The sun was
relentless, so I applied a coat of Turtle Wax to my swanky Peugeot 404. The Chocolate
Jungle Juice was running out, so I Sold My House Through Fox & Carney, and gave
Biddulphs a Buzz. I decided to phone Rixi Taxis 60666, as I knew I'd Never Get Away
Without an Exide. PS I"m sorry to say, I completely forgot to Speke to Stanley Gordon
about the Bakers Union.
PPS Beef Eaters make Better Lovers remember !!
If I ran a school, I'd give the average grade to the ones who gave me all the right answers,
for being good parrots. I'd give the top grades to those who made a lot of mistakes and
told me about them, and then told me what they learned from them. --Buckminister Fuller
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