ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST - From the Washington Post
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly
contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The
winners are:
1.Coffee (n.): The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.): Appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.): To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.): To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.): Impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.): A condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your
night-gown.
7. Lymph (v.): To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.): Olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.): Emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a
steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.): A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.): A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.): The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n.): A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.): A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and
gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.): An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
And, The Washington Post's "Style Invitational" asked readers to take any word from the
dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new
definition.
Here are some of the classic winners:
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from
penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the
near future.
2. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially
impotent for an indefinite period.
3. Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
4. Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't
get it.
5. Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
6. Hipatitis (n.): Terminal coolness.
7. Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease [This one got extra credit.]
8. Karmageddon (n.): It's, like, when everybody is giving off all these really bad vibes,
right? And then, like, the earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.
9. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things
that are good for you.
10. Glibido (v.): All talk and no action.
11. Dopeler effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at
you rapidly.
12. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked
through a spider web.
13. Beelzebug (n.): Satan, in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3:00 in
the morning and cannot be cast out.
14. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
15. Ignoranus (n.): A person who's both stupid and a twit.
Mr Smith
Our deepest sympathy to Mrs Smith,Alison, Danny,Lorry and family
on your loss of your husband,father and grandfather. Our thoughts and prayers
are with you at this sad time. With love Drew and Karly
Rev. Leiser Abrahamson (108 years) -- Elia and I were very happy to have spent a few
moments with him when we visited last. He was an inspiration to all, a sage, pious, honest
man -- the world is a much sadder place without him. Deepest sympathy and a long life to
the Abrahamson family. RONIT and Elia Loewenstern, Auckland, New Zealand.
ronstern53@yahoo. co.uk
Abrahamson Leiser who recently celebrated his 108 th birthday passed away peacefully on
Thursday night at Savyon Lodge where he had been a much loved resident for many years.
His long life spanned three centuries during which he witnessed many changes. He was
our 'National Treasure' who will be greatly missed by all who knew and loved him. Our
condolences to the Abrahamson family. Alan and Ruth Feigenbaum.
BUTTON - Tiny
Died on the 6th May in South Africa.
Fondly remembered by her grandchildren.
Resting forever and united once again with her beloved John.
Jewels, Danielle and Joshua Button
BUTTON - Tiny
Rest in peace after a long illness so bravely born.
With deepest sympathy to the Button family.
Colin and Mary Lowe &
Bryan, Paula, Jack, Tom and Mitchell Lowe
To let you know that Daphne (Tiny) Button passed away peacefully at St Augustines
hospital, Sunday 6 May after a brave fight with cancer!
D L Sherringham passed away on 10 may 2007
M.O.T.H. Dennis Sherringham
A True Gentleman and dedicated comrade,
Will be sorely missed, Deepest sympathy
to Mary and family.
M.O.T.H. George Sims and Yvonne
M.O.T.H. Dennis Sherringham
Dennis you going to higher service.
Have taken all of your Shipmates
at Matelot Shellhole with a great shock.
Our deepest sympathy and condolence
to Mary and family.
From the Old Man and all Shipmates at Matelot.
Dennis Rest in Peace.
Bruce West
Deepest sympathy to Lance and family on the loss of your Dad, a good work mate and
friend, We will miss you and you will always be remembered.
George and Yvonne Sims
Bruce West
Deepest sympathy to Lance and family - we will miss you Brucie .
Dave and Stef Englebrecht.
THE FUNERAL SERVICE (Full mass) FOR THE LATE
JOHN PETRUS BERNARDUS VAN EK
will take place on
MONDAY 21ST MAY 10:00AM
BULAWAYO Christ The King Church
Corner of Matopos Rd and Cecil Avenue (entrance off Oxford Road), Hillside,
Bulawayo
JOHN VAN EK
My dearly beloved Husband and father, a very unexpected and sudden departure
on you 77th birthday.
How greatly we will miss and love you always.
Rest in peace, you will be missed by us all.
Your Wife Abigal and Son's
Jack, Henry, Peter & Anthnoie Van Ek.
What about some of the earlier shows on Montrose Studios output with Val Lunn. We had
Four Jacks and a Jill, John Edmond, Ge Korsten, Cornelia, Des and Dawn Lindberg. Where is
Ken Jackson? I know that others from the same era have passed on. Beryl Maitland, Ralph
Glover, Moolji Parshotam, Cabby, Brian Lawson, John Pank (husband of Pauline Bailey).
There were other legends like Tony Bulling in the much earlier days. Where is Graham
Keithley, Tony de Villiers, Teresa McMaster, Gavin Johnstone Robertson, Paul Aingworth,
Mario Antao (all behind the scenes people). Where are people like John Aldridge,
What about Brian Williams, Jan Smith, Margaret Murray, Basil Von Blomenstein ?
Dave Emberton
and Val (Harare)
Don't seek to merely get rid of the negative things in your life. Instead, transform their
energy into something of real positive value. --Ralph Marston
A man who causes fear cannot be free from fear.
- Epicurus -
History lesson
In George Washington's days, there were no cameras. One's image was either sculpted or
painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with
one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms. Prices charged by
painters were not based on how many people were to be painted but by how many limbs
were to be painted. Arms and legs are "limbs," therefore painting them would cost the
buyer more.
Hence the expression, "Okay but it'll cost you an arm and a leg."
PLEASE NOTE THAT THE MIRROR CAN ONLY DEAL WITH E MAIL QUERIES, PLEASE DO NOT PHONE IN YOUR ADVERTS AND QUERIES... ONLY E-MAILS WILL BE CONSIDERED
