SPINNING RAVE
Well done to a local Gymnasium which was a hive of festivity on
Saturday night raising funds for Childline, the SPCA and the Aerobics
Institute.
A Spinning Rave was the order of the day, and sixty or so of
Bulawayo's finest, fittest, and fastest, were assembled to rave the
night away on their Reebok Stationary Bikes.
Accompanied by Strobe lights, Rave Music at Full throttle and
Beautiful instructors in the briefest of spinning leotards, Bulawayo's
finest, liberally doused with Mum 21, Revlons "You're my Fire"
and Estee Lauder's "Beautiful" deodorants, trimmed and toned
their limbs ready for the BIG RAVE !!
Lots of sweating was done, lots of puffing and panting, lots of fun
was had by all and oodles of boodle was raised for three very worthy
causes.
Well done to Gwen, Nadine, Sue and Mandy and all others involved in
the organisation, and well done to the Bopetticosweaties, who had such a
good time!!
MASVINGO DRAMA CIRCLE PRESENTS.......
This great show is called "Caught in the Net" by Ray
Cooney and is a "Latest London Smash Hit" which is still
running. It is done by the Masvingo Drama Circle and directed by Doug
Hill. It is on at the Bulawayo Theatre on Friday 11th Oct at 7.30 pm and
Saturday 12th Oct at 2.15 pm and 7.30 pm.
Bookings at the Bulawayo Theatre. Tickets are $ 300 each. I believe
this show is as good if not funnier then last year's show "It Runs
in the Family" which was very popular in Bulawayo.
THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD
DAY....check out these actual cases.
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section
of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and face mask in the middle of the forest.
A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that
on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles
from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as
quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very
large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the
site of the forest fire.
You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the
Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket
300 feet in the air and then airborne into smoke heaven. Some days it
just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
____________Still think you're having a bad day?
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in
the kitchen. While sitting on the bike and racing the engine, the
motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto
the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio
doors.
His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut
and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called
for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went
down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort
them to her husband.
While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to
right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up
the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the
toilet.
After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at
the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went
into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending
to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his
trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once
again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.
As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance
they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They
started laughing so hard, one slipped, tipping the stretcher and dumping
the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
______________ Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be
worse...
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid
cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a
killer whale ate them both.
____________________ Still think you are having a bad day?
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking
frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running
from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away
from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood,
breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily
listening to his Walkman.
_________________ STILL think you're having a bad day?
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of
sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two
thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding
madly. The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death.
_________________ WHAT? STILL having a bad day??
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter
bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it.
Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
There now, feeling better?
THE ZIMBABWE CONNECTION
TheìZimbabwe Connection is a not-for-profit, voluntary, association.
Its objectives are to provide assistance to all Zimbabweans who, for
whatever reasons, have left or are intending to leave Zimbabwe to make a
new home for themselves and their families in Australia.
Website: www.zimbabweconnection.com
One of the many tragedies of Zimbabwe is that we all have friends and
relatives who have been scattered to the four corners of the earth.
So we thought we'd try and find a way to connect everyone up again.
Many people would love an excuse to visit Australia (especially with the
rugby world cup on tap) so we've put together 5 days of opportunity to
get all your sisters and your cousins and your aunts and your friends
and acquaintances together to meet up, to play sports, to watch sports,
to have a makulu braai and a heckuva hooley!
Before we do anything - we need to do a survey - to find out if you
are interested, how long you might stay, whether you would be wanting to
stay on in Aus, or go round the world and what type of accommodation you
would be looking for so that we can negotiate the best possible airfares
and rates for you. We'll also ask where you spent most of your life in
Zim, what school you went to and what was the date of your last year at
school - because when we play those sports some will be silly and some
will be amazingly serious - and boy, when they're serious, old rivalries
will be revived whether it's croquet or cricket!
This is, hopefully, going to be a politics free week, where we get
together to make contact with wonderful friends again. Please send this
on to anyone you might like to try and meet up with, or anyone who you
feel would like to attend and check in to our website
to find out more detail and fill in that survey.
It would be fantastic to see you all this time next year.
Jill Lambert
Adelaide
South Australia
jill@zimbabweconnection.com
ECLIPSE SPECIALS
We have a fishing camp at on our farm between Marula and Kezi just
off the centre line for the eclipse so we will have 100% visibility. I
have opened a web-site www.eclipse.co.zw/shashani with a few pictures
and what we have to offer.
There will be a fishing competition the day before and a live band
Frank Reynold and Bud Cockroft the evening before the eclipse.
The lawned camp is right on the banks of the Shashani Dam. More
details on the website. We will have a brunch on offer the day of the
eclipse but people need to book early.
Eugenie Sparrow
flyboyz@mweb.co.zw
OLD ELVIS SONG....singalong
everybodyyyyyyyy............
Are you lonesome tonight?
Does your tummy feel tight?
Did you bring your mylanta and tums?
Does your memory stray,
To that bright sunny day,
When you had all your teeth and your gums?
Is your hairline receding?
Your eyes growing dim?
Hysterectomy for her,
And its prostate for him.
Does your back give you pain?
Do your knees predict rain?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
Is your blood pressure up?
Good cholesterol down?
Are you eating your low fat cuisine?
All that oat bran and fruit,
Metamucil to boot.
Helps you run like
A well oiled machine.
If it's football or baseball,
He sure knows the score.
Yes, he knows where it's at
But forgets what it's for.
So your gallbladder's gone,
But your gout lingers on,
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
When you're hungry, he's not,
When you're cold, he is hot,
Then you start that old thermostat war.
When you turn out the light,
He goes left and you go right,
Then you get his great symphonic snore.
He was once so romantic,
So witty and smart;
How did he turn out to be such
A cranky old fart?
So don't take any bets,
It's as good as it gets,
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the building.
GOLFER'S LAMENT
IN MY HAND I HOLD A BALL,
WHITE AND DIMPLED, RATHER SMALL.
OH, HOW BLANK IT DOES APPEAR,
THIS HARMLESS LOOKING LITTLE SPHERE.
BY IT'S SIZE I COULD NOT GUESS,
THE AWESOME STRENGTH IT DOES POSSESS.
BUT SINCE I FEEL BENEATH ITS SPELL,
I'VE WANDERED THROUGH THE FIRES OF HELL.
MY LIFE HAS NOT BEEN QUITE THE SAME,
SINCE I CHOSE TO PLAY THIS STUPID GAME.
IT RULES MY MIND FOR HOURS ON END,
A FORTUNE IT HAS MADE ME SPEND.
IT HAS MADE ME YELL, CURSE AND CRY,
I HATE MYSELF AND WANT TO DIE.
IT PROMISES A THING CALLED PAR,
IF I CAN HIT IT STRAIGHT AND FAR.
TO MASTER SUCH A TINY BALL,
SHOULD NOT BE VERY HARD AT ALL.
BUT MY DESIRES THE BALL REFUSES,
AND DOES EXACTLY AS IT CHOOSES.
IT HOOKS AND SLICES, DRIBBLES AND DIES,
AND EVEN DISAPPEARS BEFORE MY EYES.
OFTEN IT WILL HAVE A WHIM,
TO HIT A TREE OR TAKE A SWIM.
WITH MILES OF GRASS ON WHICH TO LAND,
IT FINDS A TINY PATCH OF SAND.
THEN HAS ME OFFERING UP MY SO?L,
IF ONLY IT WOULD FIND THE HOLE.
IT MADE ME WHIMPER LIKE A PUP,
AND SWEAR THAT I WILL GIVE IT UP.
AND TAKE TO DRINK TO EASE MY SORROW,
BUT THE BALL KNOWS: I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW.
Bulawayo Philharmonic
Orchestra
The next presentation by the B.P.O. will be on saturday 26 October at
8.15 p.m. at the Robert Sibson Hall.
James Martin will conduct and the soloist will be Patricia Pearce who
will play Dance of the Blessed Spirits by Gluck and Bach's B Minor
Suite. Other works to be played will be Elgar's Serenade and Arne's
Symphony No 4.
Sadly will must bid farewll to Bulawayos own Judy Oliver and Harare's
Corrado Trinci.
The A.G.M. of the B.P.O. will be held at the Zimbabwe Academy of
Music on Tuesday 19 November at 5.1.5 p.m.
NEXT CONCERT SUNDAY 1 DECEMBER - "THE MESSIAH" AT ST JOHN'S
CATHEDRAL
WILDLIFE SOCIETY
The next social is on the 18th October at 7.30pm at Queens Sports
Club when Dr Andy Loveridge will be talking on the Lions of Hwange and,
if ready, Pam Birch will be presenting the game census debrief:
All are welcome - non-members $20
The November meeting, on 17th, will be an outing to Tshabalala Game
Sanctuary.
Meet at 11am at the Conservation Centre at the north end of the Park
- bring along picnic etc.
SMALLS
ZINDELE SAFARIS
Zindele Safaris, Shumba Shaba Lodge, Matopo Hills
P.O. Box 1744, Bulawayo, Zimbabwe
Tel: * 263 9 64128, Lodge *263 88 662
www.zindele.com
HOUSE WANTED TO RENT
CAREFUL TENANTS (EX FARMERS) URGENTLY REQUIRE 4 BEDROOMED (OR LARGER)
UPMARKET HOUSE TO RENT. PROPERTY MUST BE WELL SECURED WITH EITHER WALL
OR FENCE AND GATED.
PLEASE PHONE 252475 OR 011 230 179.
BULAWAYO ISLAND HOSPICE SERVICE
Freely loans to their patients useful items such as bedpans,
wheelchairs, even beds and mattresses.
For more information please telephone: 77972 or 62212
ARE YOU A FARMER'S WIFE LOOKING FOR A JOB ?
A vacancy exists at an upmarket delicatessen in Bulawayo to manage
the front cashier's desk. This position would suit a farmers wife, very
nice environment, super people to work with, no experience needed.
Telephone Bertha at 79466
Domestic Worker Required
A vacancy exists for a reliable maid (live out) with traceable
references. 5 days a week 8 to 5 in Morningside.
Cleaning and ironing ( I have an automatic washing machine)
Household of two people (no children)
To start immediately.
Contact Yvonne Povely
Telephone 091 251170 or 240258
TIMESHARE TO LET IN THE U.S.A
One week of timeshare available for rent in early January 2003.
The resort is Vistana Fountains II which is situated next door to
Disneyworld and is classified as a gold crown resort.
Contact email address is pence@mweb.co.zw
HOUSE SITTER WANTED
FAMILY will be going away from the 8th until the 27th of October and
are looking for a housesitter in Bulawayo for all or even some of the
nights. Don't worry the kids will be with Granny and Aunty Wendy - no we
wouldn't do that to anyone!
- We will leave the DSTV connected.
- There are 2 maids - one who washes and irons and the other cooks.
- They must be real dog lovers as we have a real spoilt staffi who
sleeps on the couch etc! The feeding of dogs (2) and the cat (1)
will be done by the domestics.
- There is a 'splash' pool.
- The gardener will look after the garden.
- Preferably a non smoker
If anyone knows of anyone reliable and responsible, please let us
know.
Christine Telephone - 011 - 219151
HOUSE NEEDED TO RENT
We are desperately trying to find a decent house to rent by end
November as ours has been sold and people need to take occupation on
first Dec.Looking in areas of Kumalo, Suburbs,Hillside, Illanda etc
Would prefer it to have a swimming pool but security of house more
important, can be 3 or 4 bedrooms.
Please if you could advertise this we would be really grateful. I can
be contacted on telephone 011 417 986 - Trish Gurney or home 255794.
RELIABLE GARDENER NEEDED
We are desperately looking for a reliable gardener,whom can be
recommended.Unfortunately,we do not have accommodation for him,but do
offer a good salary etc.
Tracy can be contacted on webby@mweb.co.zw or on the following
telephone numbers:230708[Home]or
023402574[cell.]
Congratulations to Ulrike Leuschner who is returning home to Germany
to practice at being a "Granny" !!
We will miss you Ulrike.................
CONDOLENCES
Sincere sympathy to the familys of
MICHAEL DAY *** GEORGE ROBERTSON *** JOE STONES *** NORBEE MOHAMMED
*** MARTIN FURY ***
LESLIE LEVENDALE *** NICK VAN RENSBURG ***** TRISH BAYLEY **** BETH
HURLEY
MOVIES
- CITY ONE VANILLA SKY 18
- CITY TWO 3000 MILES TO GRACELAND 16
- CITY THREE BANDITS 18
- CITY FOUR SHOW TIME 16
- ELITE 400 DRIVEN & ADDICTED TO LOVE 16
TIDBITS
Congratulations to HIGHLANDERS for winning the PREMIER SOCCER LEAGUE
CHAMPIONSHIP
READ MORNING MIRROR ON THE WEB www.heartbeat.co.za/kriel/default.htm
"Cowardice asks, is it safe? Expediency asks, is it
politic? Vanity asks, is it popular? But conscience asks, IS IT RIGHT?
There comes a time when one must take the position that it is neither
safe, nor politic, nor popular------BUT one must do it because
conscience says it is RIGHT!" Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
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