PET RULES
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
DISHES AND FOOD. The dishes with the paw prints are yours and
contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food
does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I
find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
THE STAIRWAY was not designed by NASCAR and is not a
racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can
run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very
sorry about this. However, do not think that I will continue sleeping
on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl
up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep
perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent
possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having
tongues hanging out the other end to maximise
space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut,
it
is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get
your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit
through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom
for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or
cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following
message on our front door :
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our
Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'niture.
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted
son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and
doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
anon.
SALLY LAWLER MUCH LOVED MOTHER OF MARILYN AND BEN, GAIL AND MIKE
PASSED AWAY ON TUESDAY 8 AUGUST 2006.
+++++++
BARNETT CECIL & ARLENE
Martin and Belinda, Tessa and David, Willem and Hayley
We are deeply saddened by your tragic loss of a Mother and Father
within
just over two weeks. Our families go way back and we too feel a
terrible loss.
Never forget that we are here for you and love you very much. We
are
glad
that Cecil and Arlene are together again but so heartsore at losing
such a
special couple.
Loads of love to you. Richard, Debra, Simone, Joy and families.
++++++
MARK MAYSON MUCH LOVED HUSBAND OF SHIRL, FATHER OF JAMES DIED
TRAGICALLY ON 9 AUGUST 2006
+++++++++
Mark Mayson
Tragically killed on 08.08.06 in a motor car accident. We are
totally
distraught. Will be greatly missed by his wife Shirley, children
Jacqueline, Gavin, James, Ashley and all the grandchildren.
Mark Mayson
Long standing friends of Les and Shirl, Rick, Carol and Robyn,
Darrell, Sue, Melanie, Kimberley, Tracey, Mark, Tanja and Clinton.
++++++++
Mark Mayson
Tragically killed on Tuesday 8th August in an automobile accident.
Our deepest sympathy to Shirley, Jacky, Gavin Luke and Dan, James,
Ashley, Kirsten and Storm on your very sad loss of a Husband, Father
and Grandfather our thoughts and prayers are with you. Acts 24.15
From Graham, Alice, Justin (UK), Alethea (RSA) and Ethne (NZ)
+++++++
Mark Mayson.
The end of an era and a good friend
Mark, Rose, Erica and Greg
Memorial Service for Mark Mayson
The Memorial Service for the late Mark Mayson will be held on Monday
14th September at 3.30 p.m. at the Matopos Road Kingdom Hall of
Jehovah Witnesses