Morning Mirror 20 - 12th September 2002 |
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Dear Inspector Dubious, RE: COMPLIMENTARY WEEKEND AT YOUR ACCOMMODATION I am writing on behalf of my fellow convicts, oops, I mean guests, who had the pleasure of a free sojourn in your cells which we warmly began to refer to as Chalet 5. However, I have several observations which I feel that you'd need to correct were you to use these premises on any future commercial basis; • Since chalet 5 is badly ventilated, I found that the toilet had a dreadful odour. Perhaps this is due to the fact that the simply built toilet could only be flushed from outside which was done by your kind wardens, sorry, hotel staff only once per day. I understand water wastage is a great concern but this will not attract the guests from the farming community that you so desire to fill your chalets. • The views around Inyati are very special however you chose to have one very small window which let in a tiny amount of sun light. If your guests wish to read the small print on the fine newspaper flooring, it would be difficult and thus could put strain on their eyes. • That I have bruises on my ribs, ankles and back could be proof that your bedding is inadequate. Perhaps you could supply a hammer and chisel so that each intern would be able to carve grooves into the cold, damp, flea infested floor to relieve the pressure points which the concrete creates. • Chalet size - I believe your aim is that the more bums in cells you can manage (especially if they are farmers bums) the happier you are. However, it is my feeling that you could expand a little - Zimbabwe is fairly large and space is not a problem now that you have acquired so much more "utilised" land from the whites. We were hosted by yourself on "detain a farmer" weekend which was obviously a busy time - 14 pax in chalet 5 which was only 4 metres squared was pushing it a little. I couldn't help being reminded of a childhood game of "14 in a bed and the little one said..............." .Having said that, I found my bed fellows very warm and comforting during the freezing nights. To this end, more than one blanket between 14 of us would have been very much appreciated. • Hygiene; whether it was boredom or my mind playing silly games with me, there were a couple of times where I found several undesirables crawling in my hair and creeping around my genitals!!!!! A good dousing of Jays Fluid would easily sort this out. For myself, I used a solution which my family vet offered me. It burnt like crazy but did kill the little critters. • Cuisine; given that Zimbabwe is experiencing famine and drought, the meal portions were small, non existent to be more specific. So we opted for out-side caterers to care for our culinary requirements. Our apologies if this made you feel inadequate, but our palates are quite used to a variety of deliciously flavoured, fresh foods daily. Oh and another word on this topic, your bar service.................very sad. A cold, crisp Chardonnay, may I recommend a Backsburg from the Cape or a few of our very own Zimbabwe Export Larger, would have been very fitting to end the long evenings before we retired to our sacks. Just a suggestion!! • Snoring; I can say however, the acoustics of chalet 5 are fantastic, how did you manage this? The snoring from (both orifices) of my fellow dwellers, created such a racket that at times I had trouble falling into a deep sleep. This must have been the only reason for not catching much shut-eye. At one stage the din reached a crescendo which made the cold, slimy walls reverberate; in contrast, it would have made the Robbie Williams live concert at the Albert Hall look quite amateurish-ish. • In conclusion; if ever you wish to offer me (against my wishes) another few nights at Chalet 5, please ensure that I have the same farmers come along with me as I got quite used to their gentle, reassuring cuddles in the deep of the night. Lying like spoons with other men is not a habit I do and even though I managed it with these guys, I'd prefer not to go through the whole experience of "getting comfortable" with someone new again. Inspector Dubious, I too am in the accommodation business and know how difficult it is to keep everybody happy! Once again, thank you for a most delightful stay. I look forward to hearing your reply. Yours in cells and hotels
BULAWAYO DYSLEXIA SUPPORT GROUP Meeting of the Bulawayo Dyslexia Support Group on Thursday 12 th September 2002 5.30pm at the Petra High School Audio Visual Centre, which is on your right just as you go in the gate. Video - I'M NOT STUPID Speaker - Dr Dawn Reeler All parents, teachers, interested parties are welcome to attend. Please tell as many people as you can about the meeting and let us all work together to support and help one another to support and help people with Dyslexia. COST - $100 payable at the door. Bookings via Mrs Alyson De Villiers - Petra High School. accounts@petrahighschool.co.zw
Macbeth will be staged at the Bulawayo Theatre on Friday 13th and Saturday 14th September. Opening night tickets will be $200. saturday afternoon is for all schools and scholars will be admitted at $50.00. Adults $200. The Gala is on Saturday for the Bulawayo Dyslexia Support Group and the tickets will be $300. The curtain goes up at 7.30 for evening performances and 2.30 for schools performances. Booking at the Theatre Produced by Toni Lambert Porter
Let's see how powerful e-mail can be! On Wednesday, September 11, 2002 everyone in the World who will be driving a motor vehicle is asked to drive with their headlights on during daylight hours. Though no explanation is needed as to why we are commemorating September 11.........................we hope more importantly to pay respect to the victims of that day, show our nation's solidarity and show support for our men and women of the Armed Forces. You can help by sending this e-mail on to others! Remember......................9/11 LIGHTS ON!
Caution - socks can damage your health.......so can tea cosies, trousers, loofahs and place mats. The British Government's latest survey of domestic accidents, compiled from hospital reports, suggests that even the most innocent looking household object carries hidden dangers. Over ten thousand accidents were treated in Britain in 1999 for accidents caused by socks and tights. A further 5,897 were caused by trousers, 1,317 by beanbags, 787 by sponges, and loofahs and 37 by tea cosies !! In most cases the patient slipped on or tripped over the offending object although one woman was burned while ironing the trousers she was still wearing !!
Dear fellow sufferers, We spent last week in RSA and were appalled at the price of food - so appalled that we came back with nothing except bread! If you are thinking of "slipping" (Ha!) over the border to stock up on basics you might be interested in these up to date prices - all Pick and Pay or Spar and what was on my shopping list! Memory told me that these items were cheaper or the same in Zimbabwe but what's the betting that in one week prices here have escalated! Mind these items ARE actually on the shelves in RSA. Jan.
ITEM RAND Z= (@60;1) 1 litre diesel 3.88 232.80 10Kg mealie meal 34 2040.00 1litre Milk 5 300.00 1kg sugar 5.49 329.40 750mls oil 6.59 395.40 1kg margarine 12.95 777.00 250g butter 8 480.00 Brown bread 2.90 174.00 5 kg Tastic rice 37.00 2220.00 5kg rice 34.00 2040.00 2.5kg cake flour 11.49 689.40 Colgate toothpaste 100mls 5.69 341.14 1.3kg chicken 23.00 1380.00 Ikg lamb 42.00 2520.00 1kg beef 30.00 1800.00 Pilchards NN 425g 5.79 347.40 Tuna solid 10.95 657.00 Sultanas/raisins 250g 7.79 467.40 Apricots 150g 8.95 537.00 Weetbix 900g 18.00 1080.00 Baygon mats 30 19.00 1140.00
Gordon Macdonald, founder member of the Quiet Waters Game Sanctuary out at Falcon College, will be talking about this Sanctuary, on Friday 13th September at Queens Sports Club, Time 7.30pm: Please try and support this function: Thanks, Pam Birch:
FOR THOSE THAT DON'T KNOW, "WTC" STANDS FOR THE WORLD TRADE CENTER WHICH MAKES THIS VIRUS REALLY DANGEROUS BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL OPEN IT RIGHT AWAY.....THINKING ITS A STORY RELATING TO 9/11.....PLEASE BE CAREFUL....... BIGGGG TROUBLE !!!! DO NOT OPEN "WTC Survivor " ... It is a virus that will erase your whole "C" drive. It will come to you in the form of an E-mail from a familiar person. If you receive an E-mail called "WTC Survivor" do not open it. DELETE IT RIGHT AWAY. This virus removes all dynamic link libraries (.dll files) from your computer.
Diana's Pool Remember Diana's Pool? You can now stay overnight in one of the stylish self catering Embizeni lodges. The charges are very affordable at $5000 per night per lodge, sleeping 4. And there is lots to discover. Check out our website: www.embizeni.net Domestic Employee Required Peta Musgrave at Alfa is looking for a maid for her daughter in law. Her number is 880770/1. Gardner Requires Position "Young gardener. Been with present employer 2 years who have now moved into townhouse. Honest, willing and reliable. Available immediately. Please phone JILL on 242673" Secure House Needed Meticulous family of four wanting to rent a home preferably in Burnside or Ilanda asap. House must be immaculate with good security and/or electric fencing. Phone Ed or Andie on 011613470 or 240239 E MAIL carnicky@mweb.co.zw House Needed For Young Couple From Gwayi Area Calvin and Jolene Nobrega have recently moved off the farm into Bulawayo and need a cottage or house rather urgently. House needed close to town Cell 011 738 571 House Needed I am needing a small secure house to rent, either 2 or 3 bedrooms in the Eastern Suburbs. Alternatively a small house on a secure property with a cottage, which could be occupied by a single mother friend of mine. Needed as soon as possible. Contact details as follows:- Freda Strydom tel: 240102 Maid Required We're looking for an experienced domestic, with traceable references. Accommodation is provided.Contact Lydia Stoki at home 281664 studios 286628. Painting With Stoki I have a few places on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. Contact Stoki at my studios on 286628, or better still come along on Tue. or Wed. evenings, have coffee with us . Studios are at 100 Marimba road, Matsheumhlope. P.S. we also have students artwork/paintings on view for sale. Tel 286628 - STOKI Bulawayo Island Hospice Service Nursing Sisters cover the city to visit patients in their homes, and are On-Call 24 hours a day! For more information please telephone: 77972 or 62212
Deepest sympathy is offered to the families of PATRICIA FITZGERALD ***** TOMMY MILLER ***** BETTY DAVIDS ****JENNY LOOSEMORE *****ROSE WINSER
Guess who got the BEST DRESSED DELEGATE'S WIFE award at the recent
Summit in Johannesburg ? |
