We wish you every happiness for the New Year.
May God care for you, may your lives be filled with all the love you
can gather and absorb,
and may Peace and Stability be with you always.
In last week's mirror I said thank you to all the folk who enable
the distribution of the Morning Mirror, but there was one GIANT
omission, and for this I must apologise to my brother Gavin. Gavin
was the brilliant person who single handedly designed the Mirror
website !!
A masterpiece, in fact Gavin received a very prestigious award for
his design of a number of well known websites.
Without Gavin the Mirror would just not have happened, and I am
deeply sorry that I did not thank my precious Bro for all his hard
work !!
What email has done for me!
My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the
time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months.
Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poo in the glue on
envelopes cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to
seal an envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by UPS or Fed Ex
since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda
Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I
now have their recipe.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is
about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating
in their special e-mail program.
Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will
now return the favour!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next
7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhoea will land on
your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my
next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's
beautician.
CONDOLENCES
DEREK HUDSON BELOVED HUSBAND OF JOANNA AND KATE. HUSBAND OF THE LATE
JILL.
DIRECTOR OF THE ZIMBABWE ACADEMY OF MUSIC, CONDUCTOR OF THE BULAWAYO
PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA FOR SO MANY YEARS.
Inspiration of the Day:
Bedzed (Beddington Zero Energy Development), is the United Kingdom's
most revolutionary housing. Bar none. For a start, Bedzed is
Britain's first carbon-neutral neighbourhood, which means that it
contributes zilch to global warming. You could go crazy with the
shower thermostat, switch on every light in the house, yet sleep
soundly, safe in the knowledge that you're still saving the planet.
PLEASE NOTE THAT THE MIRROR CAN ONLY DEAL WITH E MAIL QUERIES, PLEASE DO NOT PHONE IN YOUR ADVERTS AND QUERIES... ONLY E-MAILS WILL BE CONSIDERED
