Morning Mirror Edition 136 - 9/5/2005

In this edition

My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me religion: "You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about time travel: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me logic: "Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me more logic: "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me foresight: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me irony: "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of osmosis: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

My mother taught me about contortionism: "Look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about stamina: "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

My mother taught me about weather: "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

My mother taught me about hypocrisy: "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

My mother taught me about the circle of life: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about behaviour modification: "Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about envy: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

My mother taught me about anticipation: "Just you wait until we get home!"

My mother taught me about receiving: "Boy, are you are going to get it when you get home!"

My mother taught me medical science: "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My mother taught me ESP: "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

My mother taught me humor: "When that lawnmower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me how to become an adult: "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My mother taught me genetics: "You're just like your father."

My mother taught me wisdom: "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

Most important, my mother taught me about justice: "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

'God could not be everywhere at once, so he gave each child a mother.' - Hasidic saying

---

CONGRATULATIONS

CONGRATULATIONS

Widdop - a lovely little boy Daniel son of Des and Ashley in UK on 1 st May 2005.

Grannies and Grandpas Billy and Lyn Hunt and Viv and John Widdop are all so happy and thrilled.

---

Births
Congrats to Taryn and Mark Knox on the birth of a beautiful baby boy, David.
Weighing in at 3.6kg...... on 3 May 2005...........We are very proud of all three of you.
Love... Billy, Patty, Leigh, Ivan and Granny

---

CONDOLENCES

WAYNE EDWARDS

We are so very sorry to have read the passing of Wayne, Lynn our love and prayers are with you and family at this very sad time.
Love Russell and Ursula (nee Edwards) Gail, Michelle, Chantelle, Christopher and Nichole Dare. United Kingdom

---

JOHN LOVE
I've known John for many years and was fortunate enough to bump into him at Msuna a couple off years ago which gave us the opportunity to do a bit of reminiscing and catch up on current news - thank goodness for that.

John was a lovely no airs person who was always happy to share his experiences and vast wealth of knowledge. I have no doubt he will be sadly missed by family and friends alike.

Kindest regards

Vic Crankshaw Pietermaritzburg
VicC@mcmotor.co.za

---

CONDOLENCES
It is with great sadness that Bulawayo bids farewell to Patrick Keefe. Pat died quietly at home on Wednesday 4th May, surrounded by his family. A Man among Men, a true Gentleman cut from rare cloth, dignified and respected by all who knew him. Hamba Kuhle Baba Nkosi.

The Service of Thanksgiving for the Life of Patrick Keefe
Tuesday 10 May 2005
Number 9 Green, Bulawayo Golf Club 3.30 pm

Friends and colleagues are invited to join the Keefe Family as we pause to celebrate and remember the life of 'Pat' Keefe; husband, father, Grandfather and friend. Please join us.

---

DEATHS:
JOAN GRANT - dearly loved wife of the late Ray Grant and beloved Mother of David, Carol, Christopher and Donna, grandmother of Chantel, Rory, Jeni and Raymond, died on Thursday, 5th May, 2005 after an illness bravely borne.
Deeply mourned and ever remembered by her loving children and grandchildren.

Sincere thanks to Dr. Steve Williams and Island Hospice

---

Condolences

John Love,
To Carol and Kim

Life is a mixture of sunshine and rain
Good things and bad things, pleasure and pain
We cant have all sunshine but it is certainly true
Theres never a cloud the sun doesn't shine through

So always remember that what ever betide you
The Power of God is always beside you
so seek first His Kingdom and you will possess
The worlds greatest riches which is true happiness

If loved ones must leave you, even just for a while
start out bravely with just a gallant smile
and for the Lords sake and in his Holy name
live on and do things just the same...

For in His loving arms our loved ones are and will remain
until we too will join them one day again...

With love and deepest sympathy
Mary Anne and Steve Sweetman

---

In Memory:

John Lander - although time has helped to heal our wounds, our scars are still visible! We love and miss you every day! It will be four years on the 9th May and we still hurt!

Your loving family
Bev, Andy, Julian, your newest grandchild - ?, Brad, Liesel and Emily

---

TIDBITS

"To give anything less
than your best is to
Sacrifice the gift."
- Steve Prefontaine -

"It's not the voting that's democracy,
it's the counting."

- Thomas Stoppard -

---

PLEASE NOTE THAT THE MIRROR CAN ONLY DEAL WITH E MAIL QUERIES, PLEASE DO NOT PHONE IN YOUR ADVERTS AND QUERIES... ONLY E-MAILS WILL BE CONSIDERED