Bulawayo Morning Mirror Edition 1163 - 4/10/2026

Everyone has a 'Dreaded Dentist Story'

I live in a family where everyone else's teeth are perfect, so I get no sympathy from any of them!

Some of us have an unnatural fear of dentists. I think ours stems from our childhood, when Gavin and I were taken to a dentist in Princess Park Mansions, Bulawayo. The rooms there were traditionally dark and gloomy although the magnificent building is almost a National Monument it is such a colonial landmark.

But our dentist had a Goitre. It was enormous, it was terrifying, growing on his neck, a large protuberance, which when he was dealing with ones' teeth, was always half an inch from one's face!! He was really the sweetest elderly man, but Gavin and I, at the tender age of five or six, were petrified of him, may he rest in peace!!

And so my Dental phobia began. Many people are apprehensive of the Dentist, and to them I extend my sincerest sympathy.

Our Dentist in Bulawayo is the sweetest person on earth. Diminutive, lively, brilliant in her profession, but in my sub conscious, she is formidable and totally soul-shaking.

Our generation of Baby Boomers seldom have handsome teeth. 'Born before the Rinderpest ' I always say, when tooth fillings actually contained mercury!! Also known as dental amalgams, mercury has been used in dentistry for over a century. These fillings, composed of a mixture of metals, including mercury, silver, tin and copper were the go-to solution for repairing cavities, due to their durability and affordability. Mercury's known toxicity has sparked endless debates and concern about the safety of mercury fillings.

Now we folk, as I say, born in the Dark Ages, have a mouthful of mercury, silver, tin and copper. Some wealthy folk have even had gold added to this cocktail!!
My Grandchildren have always been fascinated with my teeth, wanting to peep in at my Silver Tin Mine!! What's more our post war parents did not have the money to have our crooked teeth corrected, even if braces or retainers had been available in those days! It was only in the seventies when teeth braces became fashionable, and in those days they were bulky metal bands, excruciatingly painful and grotesque!!

In addition, in those days, dummies or pacifiers were unheard of, and many children reverted to sucking their thumbs for comfort!! In the mid-19th century, elastic teething rings made of rubber were popular in Britain. But the modern pacifier was not invented until 1901, when a Manhattan pharmacist, applied for a patent for his "baby comforter." Sucking one's thumb might make for happy children, but does not make for happy teeth

Having spent a lot of time in the USA, where everyone's teeth are perfect, snow white, symmetrical and beautiful, I now have an obsession with teeth!!
We Baby Boomers 'lucked out' as the kids say, in the Teeth Department.

My darling dentist says comfortingly that Seniors teeth are, in general, stronger and longer lasting than our offspring, in spite of their appearance.
But back to dental horror stories, as my friend 'Sod' would have it, one of my teeth cracked whilst we were overseas, thanks to the wiles and guiles of a Cherry Pip! We Boomers can cunningly avoid cracking our teeth on all sorts of African Hazards such as Biltong, but I succumbed to an American Cherry Pip!

The Texas Dental surgery was out of this world. The Dental staff and the dentist all had teeth out of a Periodontal magazine advert, and they were super friendly, efficient and sympathetic. However when I first opened my mouth for inspection of said pearly white, I could almost feel them withdraw in horror and fright at my Mercurially Laden Oral Cavity!!

The handsome Dentist with the Colgate smile, further infuriated me by asking if a group of visiting dental students could have a look into my offending buccal cavity!!

Anyhow they extracted my offending Cherry Pip Casualty, painlessly and effortlessly, and kindly offered to fill the gap with a very expensive false tooth, (which is now called a bridge). However having had enough of this ignominy, I hurried back home to the comforting arms of Dudu, where she made me look beautiful once again with a Bulawayo Bridge.