The Weaker Sex Laments
- 9/9/2014 <--Prev : Next-->
When I come back I am coming back as a man!!
A man's life is just so much easier than a woman's life from the cradle to the grave. Yes I know that
'Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they're the first to be rescued off sinking ships.'
but apart from that, admit it, we really get a raw deal in life.
Of course the primary question is - why should the little women have the babies' It's jolly painful not to mention messing up every single itty-bitty part of ones' anatomy.
When did you last see a man who had stretch marks, and a pouch like a kangaroo Men earn their bellies in a much more fun way!!
If men were suddenly given the responsibility, pain and trauma of having the babies, the world's population would indeed be in a quandary and overpopulation would soon be a thing of the past!!
And then there is the not so gentle art of waxing, and here I broach this subject with genuine tears in my eyes Guys are allowed to be hirsute, even encouraged to be hirsute, indeed it's considered sexy, but the Little Woman goes through sheer hell to undertake a depilatory regime across every part of her body that can be seen, and every part that needs not to be seen!!
Have you ever seen a man screaming at the Argus Cycle Race, while having his legs waxed, well, girls never ever scream!! We may feel like screaming but we accept our awful lot in life through gritted teeth...as we accept so many things in our lives!!
Men are so lucky; they can wear shorts and trousers at all times, apart from the Scots and the Kikoi variety. I challenge any man to sit with his knees together on a podium for three hours in a skirt...I dare any man to ascend a land cruiser elegantly with our displaying his breakfast, whilst wearing a skirt.
And then there is the agonizing problem of footwear. We attended a couple of divine weddings recently, both which necessitated the donning of stilettos!
Give me strength, heaven help the fairer sex, the heels sank into the soft grass, the pain was unbearable and it's definitely track shoes for sure for the next wedding. Men have absolutely no idea what we have to go through to gain a few precious centimeters in height and to subtly promote the allure of an elegant silhouette....
Finally, I must end on the subject of the intricacies of the Men v Women toiletry essentials. Why on earth did Mother Nature bless us with such an unfriendly apparatus
Men are so lucky, their thoraxes are just so user-friendly, they are just so anatomically blessed....
Their chassis are not subject to such torment; their haunches are never put under such strain as are ours.
I now understand why men rock backwards and forwards on their heels at certain times during their
supremely easy bodily functions, they are in fact thumbing their noses at the so called 'weaker sex'- reveling in the ease with which they undertake their nebulous relief efforts.
Yes indeed, next time round I am definitely hoping to be a man!!
