The Denim Jeans Brigade
They call the denim jean the "modern day corset "!!
Gone are the days in which one had to suffer through the horrifying tortures of the "two way" or the "slenderella", as corsets used to be named affectionately .....
Well, maybe not affectionately.... I remember an aunt who had an appliance made out of rubber, rather like those rubber shower mats you get in hotels to stop you from slipping.!! It was made of tubular rubber about 18 inches in length, and you had to actually climb inside the darn thing.
Well climb is probably the wrong word to use, squeeze, squirm, squelch your way inside, would be more appropriate choice of words !!
It helped to lather the inside of the corset with talcum powder to make the adipose tissue more sensuously slithery, more malleable and less resistant. The purpose of this machine of indescribable torture was to shape the body - miraculously transform a rather matronly figure into an hourglass shape, holding all the quivering flesh tight and firm and creating a rather more curvaceous arrangement of one's flesh.
Lets face it, the desired effect was to look...well...slimmer. But unfortunately that was not the case.
For a start, the corset needed to be manufactured out of some sort of nuclear withstanding compound that could only have emanated from NASSA. To cope with the battering that the corset took, the grappling with every ounce of strength a gal had, the abuse sustained by struggling fingers and thumbs.
The stubborn body armour needed to be coaxed, nay, bludgeoned over those quivering thunder thighs, grappled desperately past the multitudinous love handles, to sink thankfully and gratefully over the quivering gelatinous belly and then to be coerced even further across the dreaded midriff bulge.....
It was a labour of love, a heaving, sweating, extraordinarily exhausting labour of love.
And to what end I hear you ask Well for beauty of course, for vanity, for pride. Imagine how magnificent Aunty now looked, her gargantuan size was now successfully reduced from a size 22 to a size 20 (around the hips that is) because what Aunty did not realise , and what we all failed dismally to tell Aunty, was that her hips may have reduced in size, but all that flesh had to go somewhere, and now her ample bosom looked the size of a block of flats !!!
To say nothing of her knees !!!
It was pure weight displacement, nothing else, poor Aunty, she was totally exhausted but in vain oblivion to her plight, and one thing was for sure, NOONE was going to enlighten her !!
My goodness, that was a long preamble, what I was really trying to tell you girls, is that the corset as Aunty knew it, has now made way for the much more alluring denim jean brigade......
It is a miracle is it not The jeans strain pleasantly over the vast derriere, it is probably an optical illusion but the butt possibly looks a tad smaller......but HOLD ON.....what has happened to the size of our knees !!!!
And why do I have difficulty in breathing, is it because my midriff is now tucked uncomfortably but securely under my solar plexus.
Ah Vanity ... thy name is Woman...... but grateful thanks to Mr Levi !!
WATCHDOG
The all Volunteer US and Canadian Surgical team, OPERATION OF HOPE targets 90 free facial reconstructive surgeries May 2020
Operation of Hope Celebrates 31 years of Good Works in 2020
Operation of Hope, a 31-year old, US/Canadian based surgical charity, is planning their 26th surgical mission to Zimbabwe. Since 2006, they have performed more than 5,000 free cleft surgeries for children and adults in Zimbabwe, alone.
90+ children and adults are targeted for a free facial reconstructive surgery at the following dates:
Screening Days:
Mpilo Hospital in Bulawayo, Screening Day: Sat. May 2nd Bulawayo
Mpilo Hospital Sunday, May 10th Bulawayo
Screening Day, Friday May 22nd at Karanda Mission Hospital, Mt Darwin, Zimbabwe, Africa
The team of Board certified reconstructive surgeons and 18 other volunteers, support the confidence and social success of children around the world. "Having an attractive smile is crucial not only for self-esteem but also for the ability to interact effectively in modern society, where smiling is one of the most basic interactions between people," says President of Operation of Hope, Jennifer Mora Trubenbach, 'Some of these children don't have a smile at all. Often, they cover their mouths and are hidden from school or church because of this relatively easy to fix problem, being a cleft lip or cleft palate."
Operation of Hope depends on the kindness of private citizens, sponsors and the services of medical volunteers as all surgeries are free of charge to patients and their families.
'We are often asked as Americans, are we independently wealthy to do this work. No, Jennifer smiles. Most of the volunteers love to come to Zimbabwe for the very reason they first got into medicine - to help as many people as they can because they love doing so. Several of our volunteers are retired and instead of playing golf they choose to do these missions. Most of the nurses raise their funds by fundraising their own airfare by sharing the excitement of this trip with family and friends. Operation of Hope's funding comes from just ordinary people with big hearts and who truly understand what it would be like, if their own child needed his surgery and didn't have the financial means. And, she adds, we love the beautiful people of Zimbabwe and their incredible spirit.
Schweppes Zimbabwe was most helpful in providing juice and water for the patients, as well as, thanking the team with a celebration team dinner. 'It's more than water and juice, said Jennifer 'If babies are hydrated before surgery it's much more difficult to put in an IV, and after surgery the water and juice is so instrumental in rehydrating the patient so they can recover faster. 'We are so thankful to Schweppes for truly understanding our mission and helping us take care of these kids as safely as we can,' she added. EcoNet has also been supportive in helping us get the word out to prospective patients, especially those on the rural areas.
The Ministry of Health waived the Medical and Nursing Council fees for the team, saving the volunteer team thousands of dollars in registration fees. We are hoping they will extend this kindness on this upcoming mission.
This year's team represents volunteers from India Canada, California, Florida, Iowa, Minnesota, Oregon and Massachusetts. Emirates Airlines in partnership with the Emirates Foundation was also instrumental in helping with the volunteer's airfare.
In the US, this surgery costs $35K -$80K and the Operation of Hope team raises money all year to offer these surgeries for free to Zimbabweans. Not only are cleft sufferers given the changes they need to have a chance in society, but they also receive these improvements from qualified medical professionals, regardless of their ability to pay.
Please contact Jennifer at jtrubenbach@gmail.com for more information.