REVENGE WILL BE SWEET          - 14/ 12/ 2011      <--Prev : Next-->

Oh ho ho ho ho revenge is gong to be very sweet indeed !

I am going to get hold of them, immerse them in a bucket of freezing cold water, and then hang them out to dry under an ice cold fan !!

And I am going to watch their every delicious frozen moment with evil intent and the utmost relish

It is after all quid pro quo and I and thousands of airline passengers worldwide have every right to the infliction of this torture I shall even film it and put it on You Tube for all of us Ice Maidens to watch over and over again in delight and retribution

There I was, thirty thousand feet above sea level, with sandals and a straple top, flimsy half mast cargo pants and an almost definite pending case of bronchial pneumonia developing, as every ghastly second crawled past

It was only when I heard the teeth of the passenger behind me chattering that I realised I had not contracted ebola, but that the nasty ghastly mean "son of a preacher man" captain of the plane, had the aircon on full blast at minus 16 degrees centigrade !!

I am the first to admit that I have a funny thermostat, one degree either way of 22 degrees Centigrade and I either need a jersey or a swim !! But this was tortuous in the extreme

Sadly we were strapped in for take off, the fellow on the aisle seat was taking a very heavy nap, such a deep sleep he was in that all my pleas for freedom were falling on deaf ears

My feet were icy, my arms were goosey, my legs were glacially stiff and sore and I could feel every germ in creation heading for my sub zero immune system

It was only when I took my lipstick out to find it frozen solid and frosty that I realised that 100 odd people on board the Boeing, were also in imminent danger of freezing to death

The stewardesses were stoically ignoring my call bell, and when they eventually arrived, stated sweetly that this was not a long haul flight so no blankets were available

Desperate measure were being called for and I wrapped both frozen footsies in two airsick bags! Perhaps I could tear the pages from the "In Flight " magazine and wrap them round my legs and arms using glaciers spit to keep them in place ?

I knew my pashmina was in the locker above me but Mr Aisle Man was snoring soundly and apart from vaulting across him, there was nothing I could do except succumb to the delicious oblivion of freezing to death quietly and unobtrusively

Eventually the flight attendant arrived and stated sweetly that she had managed to persuade the Captain to turn the air conditioner up a tad "Oh" she then said in all innocence, wondering why all the passengers had turned blue "and would you like ice in your drink??"

Grrr its not even funny and so I am planning the icy demise of nearly all the Captains and Crew of aircraft worldwide and I know there are many of you readers who would love to join me ??