PLUMBERS DELIGHT !!!          - 25/1/2012      <--Prev : Next-->

I am seriously thinking of taking up plumbing.

Its not that I have a suspicious nature, but how does one know exactly what a plumber does in one s ceiling.

Heights and I are not close friends, but I have been ripped off by plumbers too many times, so I am first going to go on an abseiling course to get used to heights, and then I am going to do a course in elementary plumbing and electrics.

Now our Bulawayo plumbing is fine, its old, its decrepit, the house was built in 1952, and it has a flat roof so the geysers are on the exterior walls And the plumbers are our friends and not shrewd like theses Gautengians.

Is this just bad luck, or is it some sort of plumbing ghost that has invaded the offsprings s Gauteng home?

First all three geysers were installed with no drip trays, so when geyser number one sprung a leak, so did the ceiling boards and so did the carpets and so on and so forth.

With this in mind I then had drip trays installed under the next two geysers And thats when the fun began As sure as eggs are eggs, when the plumbers go up into the roof to fix something, I swear they 'doctor' something else !!

Upstairs bedroom flooded because of leaky geyser, downstairs bedroom flooded because of leaky geyser and every time a plumber arrives, it costs a day of waiting for him to arrive, a healthy bill, a battle with the insurers and a whole bunch of money.

200 litre geysers just cannot fit in the trapdoor so they have to go in through the roof, I cannot imagine the state of the roof tiles, the state of the ceiling insulation, and what are they doing up there at any rate for such a long time?

And what happened to the 'old' geyser, no one gave me a refund, it looked perfectly fine to me Does my friendly plumber take it home, weld it slightly, and he now has a perfectly good geyser to sell to some other acrophobic idiot?

Now plumbers love an insurance claim, they smack their lips in glee Our insurers are going to think we are in league with the plumbers financially !!

OK so I am a doubting Thomas, I distrust my fellow man, I am a cynic and I am not paying so why should I bother, I just hate being ripped off and I also know that the insurers will probably put the premiums up just now.

How can three separate Gauteng geysers have three separate holes, in such a short space of a couple of years, when those in Zim have lasted for twenty to thirty years?

Ok Kriel gird your loins, up the ladder you go, do not look down, do not pass go, do not even think of the consequences of a broken hip at your decrepit age !! Senility has its price but I am going to conquer this thing.

They are back now, those plumbers of mine, the water is not hot enough for SheeHoo who loves a deep hot bath after a trip to Mogadishu, (for some odd reason ).

Now its the other geyser, oh they are joined are they ? Why does one have two geysers that are joined ? Even a presbyopic female knows thats dumb.

Oh and suddenly, after one new ten thousand rand geyser has been installed, now the other next to it is not working, how dumb do they think I am ????

'Oh but, Ma am, I can do it cheaper on my day off ??' How does one combat this dishonesty, not by being dishonest in return, and his over zealous insistence that he will bring me the old element and thermostat ? What was it Shakespeare said ? 'Methinks he doth protest too much?'

I smell a rat, 'Here look, search my tool box, I have no other old element here and I will bring you the old one I promise !!' Why is he even saying this ????

I would no more insult him by searching his toolbox than I would fly to the moon, and he well knows that.

2 x 200 litre geysers should now be working in tandem happily, I am going to test that blighter ! I am going to run three full baths simultaneously and see if I get 400 litres of hot water all at one time otherwise 'Watch this space' !!!

Sucker !! I have the word written on my forehead thats for sure, those Gautengians can see an unsuspecting Zimbabwean a mile away!!