MY HANDYMAN !          - 28/1/2009      <--Prev : Next-->

I do hope that HeeHoo will become President of the United States one day !!

He certainly has the intellectual capability, but the main reason is that he will be forced to HOLD MY HAND !!

It is obviously obligatory for USA First Ladies and First Men to hold hands adoringly at all times during state events.

HeeHoo has never been a HAND HOLDER, His hand, for a start is much larger than mine, and his fingers much bigger, so my delicate mitt gets seriously stressed.

My phalanxes are pulled to capacity, my stretched metacarpus go into spasm, and my grapple and grasp becomes seriously inadequate.

Subsequently we are a metacarpusly challenged couple !! Besides which HeeHoo is not a groper by nature .... so I would delight in his having to hold my hand because the PR people say so !!

Taking one's arm is another loving gesture that I would make the most of if we were America's First Couple. The last time HeeHoo took my arm solicitously was the day we got married .....even then he had to wrestle it away from my dear departed Dad who took me by the incorrect arm to march me down the aisle. To the glee of the congregation - I nearly got married to my Papa in error !!

Don't get me wrong, HeeHoo shows much affection in other ways, for example I am exactly the right height for him to lean on as I am the same height as his favourite bar counter !!

It's all to do with astrology of course, Capricorns are not big on showing public affection according to my book on the stars !

A Capricorn will tell you he loves you twice in his life, I have been told, once on the day he proposes and the second time on the day one's first child is born ... and so my only hope is for him to succeed Mr Obama.

Mind you, don't get me wrong, he has won the Father of the Year Award and the Husband of the Year Award for the last thirty years so holding hands really is very low on the priority list I suppose....

I mean they are a lucky couple, Barack and Michelle, both the same height for comfortable hand holding. HeeHoo is much taller that I, I am but "two bricks and a ticky high" as Mother used to say, and Mrs O. is statuesque and regal.

Happily my two daughters are the same size as I (height wise only I assure you) and they love to hold hands with Mom. They love to hug and snuggle, and the three of us can easily make up for HeeHoo's stern Victorian fatherly attitude.

But hey, looking at what the years ahead hold for all of us, maybe I have changed my mind, and not all the hand holding in the world would make me wish to walk my way down the road to the White House !!