I can almost feel myself losing weight.... by writing this down.....
I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great time for women. Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be.... phuleeeeeeeze!
I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60,70 or 80 (or maybe even just pushing your luck) you'll probably relate.
Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired moustache.
In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.
Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around. Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realise that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too." Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones. Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think: "For this I have stretch marks "
In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.
Mid-life means that you become more reflective...You start pondering the "big" questions. What is life Why am I here How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice
But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realise that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have! now for the body you had way back when
Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it! Read this out to four women and you will lose two pounds. Send this to all the women you know (or ever knew), and you will lose 10 pounds.
If you delete this message, you will gain 10 pounds immediately. Anon