You know you came from Zim when...
You eat cuts of meat today that were called 'ration' meat in the old days.
You have given up looking for a good meat pie.
You had a staff member called sixpence.
You miss the smell of red stoep polish.
You bore or frighten your children with harrowing tales of your deprived upbringing in the days when TV started at 17H00 and kids were expected to ride push bikes to school...
You still butter bread by holding the slice in your hand...
You wish you'd had the presence of mind to keep mum's Morris Minor
You ate supper in Vila da Manhica, the Vila Perry, Maxies or Guido's on occasions.
You can remember the beer adverts on the tin trays the hotel waiters used...
You can remember thinking that Bengal Juice was OK.
You still believe it's wrong to use bad language in mixed company
You still think of traffic lights as robots
You know the words to more than two ABBA songs
You HATE washing your car and mowing your lawn.
Ironing is still something other people do
You still find it hard to throw things away when they could be fixed
You went to a school that taught real subjects like grammar and history
You went to a school where instead of being "counseled", unruly students were beaten - and it worked!
You complained to your father that you were disciplined at school - only to find he thought it was a good idea.
You used to call your parents' friends "Uncle" and "Aunty"
You have driven on a strip road
You long for that soft morning glow that brightens the Matabeleland sky between 6am and 8am.
Really miss a great, fantastic, bed rattling, window shaking, earth tremoring, all-kids-and-animals-in-the-parents'-bed tropical storm.
You parked your car in a car park and couldn't find it again, because it was a blue Renault 4.
Someone stole your car and returned it the next day, because it was a Renault 4 and they felt sorry for you (hell they were too embarrassed to be seen driving it)!
You remember watching the brown grass turn green after a day's rain.
Arguing that Castle was for men Lion was for kids, and pommies
You put green stripes on your R4 so that you could find it in that car park!!!
You found a hundred R4s with green stripes on them !!
You still wonder what this thing polystyrene is, you know of kaylite.
You still refer to Koki pens as Neo's.
Muuush is still common in your vocabulary, as is 'lekker'.
You still have Wrex Tarr's "Chilapalapa" LP's and know the words to "Cockie Lobbin".
You hear crickets in July and remember the December Christmas beetles.
You know or still write to someone from PE, Saints, Churchill, Ellis Robins, Falcon College, Plumtree, Eveline High, Townsend School, Chaplin, Sinoia, Plummers, Guinea Fowl or Gwebi Agricultural College.
You drank Tanganda tea or Preema Coffee (or Daybreak).
You shopped at Truworth's, Edgar's, Meikle's or Kingston's, Sanders and Haddon and Sly.
You had an avocado, mango, guava and pawpaw tree in your garden and went bike riding to friends houses to pick mulberry leaves for your silkworms.
You played in a sand pit and on a jungle gym.
You thought bilharzia was an incurable disease but still swam in the rivers, dams anyway.
You remember jacaranda trees in full bloom on North Ave.
You were once a Grey Street Cowboy.
You ate hot dogs at Fritz's Pie Carts on Grey Street.
You remember when a Coke or ice-lolly cost a tickie.
You miss the taste of bream fried on the side of the dam five minutes after you caught it.
You have at least one ivory, soapstone or wooden carving.
You still remember the taste of gemsquash and melted butter, mealies and Mazoe Orange Juice.
You think there is no green surpassing that of the Sandawana emeralds.
You still expect to see a chongololo after an afternoon rain and a few flying ants.
You still believe your A-levels were harder than most first-year University courses today.
You still refer to an expert as a "fundi".
You still say "braai" instead of "barbecue" or "kopje" instead of "hill".
The following names mean something to you: "Sandro's", "Arkies", "Club Tomorrow", The Carlton Club, The Stork Club, Bretts and La Boheme
You collected coke cans on your trips to South Africa 'cos they were so cool.
You still can't get your head around the idea of throwing away a glass coke or beer bottle, instead of taking it back for the deposit.
You remember the days when you got change from your bus-fare, and used it to buy sweets at the tuck shop.
You've even sat at Castle Corner in the cricket grounds - and can't remember who won the cricket match.
You bought a Cricket Union T-shirt from a girl vending them around the cricket grounds - and tried to get her to sell you the one she was wearing.
You were there when the 'chicken farmer' beat England - who could forget "Eddo".
You think the "all Blacks" are the Zimbabwe Tennis Team.
You were a member of Hellenics / Callies / Raylton / Alex / Postals / Old Miltonians / Mac Club / B.A.C. / Queens / or Raylton.
You've ever been boating on Lake Mac - before the hyacinth.
You've ever driven up to Montclair in Inyanga for an evening's gambling and been back at work the next day.
You still think the most haunting sound in the world is the cry of the fish eagle.
You've never carried your own golf clubs, and think that golf carts are a sign of weakness.
You've spent an hour looking for a lost golf ball at the 'police' course or Salisbury South - on the fairway!
You thought that an evening at Reps was the height of culture.
You still call a Mongolian restaurant a 'Manchurian'.
Good beer comes in brown bottles.
You know at least one person who has 'streaked' at the Salisbury Cricket Grounds.
You remember sitting for hours in petrol queues - and not getting any.
You even got fifteen people into a VW Kombi - long enough to get past the gates at the 'drive-in'.
You made out in the back of a car at the 'Nitestar' , the Sky View or the Mabelreign Drive-in.
You thought the Borrowdale Road was a motorway.
You remember with nostalgia the days when the Zim Dollar was trading at eleven to one against the greenback.
...Those were indeed the good old days - how privileged we are to have had them.