MAYORAL MUTTERINGS          - 4/3/2009      <--Prev : Next-->

I always wanted to be the Mayoress of Bulawayo. So much so that I appointed myself Mayoress of Pauling Road !!

Then I also made a few more appointments - Tracey is Mayoress of Duncan Road, Jeannie is Mayoress of Qalisa, Veronica is Mayoress of Parklands, Nix the Mayoress of Kumalo, Rosemarie is Mayoress of Park Road and so on and so forth. Its amazing how we have the smartest streets in Bulawayo even if I say so myself.

But I still do not get to sit in the Mayoral Box at the City Hall !! Oh how I remember with such envy, watching from the Commoners Benches, while the dignitaries were sitting way up high in the Mayoral Box slightly in front of the plush red velvet curtain !!
All of Bulawayo's major performances would be undertaken in the Large City Hall in the Good Old Days. The pantomimes, The Ballet (even the Bolshoi Ballet once came to Sleepy Little Old Bulawayo !!) Everyone in the main body of the hall would have their eyes fixed on the Principal Boy in Babes in the Wood or the Dame in Sleeping Beauty .... my eyes would be firmly fixed on the Mayoral Box !! There sat Mayor and Mayoress Max and Sylvia Logan or Mike and Pat Constandinos or Bill and Una Kinleyside or Jurick and Tania Goldwasser !! Hats and gloves too I do believe !! Sniff !!

I had MY hats and gloves all ready for action ... large flowery wide brimmed hats for the garden parties, pert little netty jobs for the opening of the Trade Fair ... long black gloves for evening soirees and short white functional gloves for shaking hands with factory award winners !! Oh that Massive Gold Mayoral chain that I could have worn!! I too could have had the door of that sleek polished black Bentley, opened for me by that elegant, if portly, chauffeur Mr Porter !! (Maybe it wasn't a Bentley, it might have been a lowly Austin Cambridge), but it shone and sparkled and it had a little pennant on the front bearing the Coat of Arms of the City Of Bulawayo !!

I use to practice in my mind descending from the opened door, cameras flashing, keeping my skirt down demurely a la Princess Diana !! I would have been an excellent "opener of stores, fetes and charity events," I would have dispensed largesse with great pomp and ceremony !! How come nobody recongised my Mayoral talents !! I sometimes wonder into the City Hall and glare malevolently at the large oil portraits of the past Mayors... Most of the Mayoresses were there by virtue of the fact that their husbands were Mayors but although HeeHoo has been Chairman of This and Chairman of That, sadly he never had any interest in civic affairs !! But I remember once when there was a bachelor mayor elected to office !! Surely this would be my opportunity , me me me me !!!!

But not to be, sadly I am but the Self Appointed Mayoress of Pauling Road and must be thankful that I have my Deputy Mayoress Stanni, waiting in the wings to take my place one day !!