My mom taught me to respect other people's labor: 'All right boys, if you're going to tear each other's heads off - do it outside! I've just cleaned the floor!'
My mom taught me to believe in something higher: 'You'd better pray this yuckiness comes off in the wash!'
My mom taught me to think logically: 'Why Because I say so, that's why!'
My mom taught me to consider the consequences of my actions: 'If you fall out of this window now, don't even think about asking me to take you to the mall this afternoon!'
My mom introduced me to the notion of cause and effect: 'Quit crying, or I'll spank you!'
My mom taught me to achieve the impossible: 'Shut your mouth and eat your soup!'
My mom taught me willpower: 'You're not leaving the dinner table until you've eaten everything up!'
My mom taught me to bravely face the future: 'Just wait until we get home! You're in for a serious conversation!'
My mom taught me the basics of looking after yourself: 'Stop squinting, or your eyes will stay like that forever!'
My mom taught me to be flexible: 'Just look at all that dirt at the back of your neck!'
My mom taught me that extrasensory perception exists: 'Stop pretending you're not freezing - you're not fooling your mother! Put that sweater on this minute!'
My mom taught me the secret of maturity: 'Eat your greens, or you'll never grow up!'
My mom familiarized me with genetics: 'You got this from your father!'
My mom made me suspect that superheroes really exist: 'I can see right through you, young man!'
My mom taught me to see good in any situation: 'You've turned your room into a right pigsty once again!'
My mom told me how I should behave: 'Quit behaving like your dad!'
My mom explained to me where true wisdom comes from: 'First you live to be my age, then you start having opinions!'
My mom taught me her unique brand of 'humor': 'When you end up cutting your legs off with that lawnmower, don't you run to me crying!'
My mom taught me to be realistic: 'I've told you a MILLION times - stop exaggerating!'
My mom taught me not to be envious: 'There are countless miserable children around the world who don't have such wonderful parents as ou are lucky to have!'

BRIGHTSIDE!