GO BOKKE !!          - 1/9/2004     <--Prev : Next-->

Two weeks ago HeHoo (short for He Who Must Be Obeyed) very kindly invited me to watch the finals of the Tri - Nations Rugby between the Boks and the Wallabys in Durban .

I was overwhelmed at his kindness ..... but..... there were strings attached !!

His part of the bargain was to get me to the ABSA Stadium in Durban. My part was to agree to go for the beers !!

Now a girl's gotta do what a girls gotta do but I was just not prepared for the rigours of rugby that awaited me !!

Apart from the fact that the entire happiness of two nations rested on this encounter, I knew that Hehoo's life would not be the same ever again, if his team lost.

I mean it was so serious that the result of this game meant even more to him that the weekly Zimbabwe Auction Rates Results !!

That shows how bad it had all become especially after the euphoria of the previous Saturday when the All Blacks lost face at Ellis Park.

Now, I am but a meek little Bulawayo girl and know very little about rugby, but I would like to make a small comment that, no wonder these lads have had a problem with their game over the past few years since that legendary World Cup win a few years ago !!

I mean how on earth can a team with names like those, even talk to each other let alone work solidly, as one, in a maul ?

"Os" ? I ask you with tears in my eyes..... Yes, I kid you not, the props name is actually Os Du Rand....

What sane mother would inflict a name like that on her sweet new baby boy ?

Mind you I suppose she was not to know that he would grow up and be the size of an orse....

The crowd loves him, "Os, Os, Os, Os, they chant in delight when sweet little Os (all 275 lbs of mountainous flesh ) thunders onto the field...

"Schalk "? what sort of name is that for goodness sake ? Yes that is the poor man's name - and he has a schalk of blond hair to go with it. Mind you he's not a bad player so maybe he was so upset with his name that he decided to show his mum exactly what he was made of !!

And then there is Bakkies, Bolla, Gaffie and Arthob !!!! No wonder they cannot get it together, can you imagine the mish mash of names being shouted at each other on the field.

"Bakkies, jo lekker blixem ou, jol that bol hier lekker jong !!!"

The only one on the programme who had a name with any sort of genteel ring was Percy.... and that poor fellow was , as usual, under a severe onslaught from the raucous crowd for the entire match, as I gather he is every match. I suppose that's what comes of having a nice name like Percy.....

"Percy Bashing" was the order of the day, even though the pretty fellow (aka Princess) as far as I was concerned, saved the day for the Nation !!!

But I digress, there we were safely ensconced in the ABSA stadium in Row M.

Now, I am no mathematical genius but row M had to be pretty high up... and I was right...

When at last I summoned the courage to open my eyes and look around me, I realised at once that I needed an oxygen mask if I was to spend the next few hours in this particular place. There we were, supposedly at sea level ( I could actually see the sea over the roof we were so jolly high up !! )

67 rows up from the men in green on the field in fact, and that was when vertigo set in.....

The noise was deafening, their PA system was amazing, I felt every beat of every drum reverberating through my entire body. Johnny Clegg was doing something musical on the field, and virtually everyone in the stadium had his own Vodacom drum and believe me, they were beating them ebulliantly and with more than patriotic fervour !!

It was at that moment that Hehoo's hopes of a happy match faded away. There was no way that Shehoo (short for She Who Must Obey Instantaneously) could possibly go and get the beer, out of the question, 67 rows up, hundreds of feet above sea level, (vertigo is a very convenient malady you must admit)

There they were, the country's finest, (HeeHoo's name is Kriel after all) and those boykies gave those Wallabys a severe whipping much to the delight of the home crowd.

But me, well I guess I just cooked my goose, I am sure I will never be invited to another game unless we get seats on the ground floor......