KISSING FROGS ?         - 9/10/2005      <--Prev : Next-->


Who was it who said frogs give you warts ? It must have been my dear departed Mum I am sure. Well I have disproved that theory (at least I hope so)

Every week I have an energetic foray into the gold fish pond to collect the wretched noisy bullfrogs.

They are a complacent species, intent upon other pursuits than the pursuer it would appear !! There always seem to be three of them, definitely quirky frogs we have in Bulawayo !!

It is of course the fault of the Hammerkops who took up residence in our garden two years ago. The fish pond came about as a result of trying to keep them from raiding the neighbours koi pond (Said neighbour would lie in wait every morning with his pellet gun)

And so we thought, offering an a la carte meal at home in Cafe Kriel, might save the lives of the industrious Hammer and Kop !!

But no ...nature has its mysterious ways ...Hammer and Kop left for greener pastures and so we were left with a pond of gold fish to care for.

It was not long before the frogs arrived, where frogs come from nobody knows. They just appear !!

Now, I am sure there must be a place for frogs in the food chain. I just have to be convinced of this !! I know the French Folk love frogs and HeeHoo even brought me a frog's leg once.

It was gently wrapped in a paper napkin and tucked artfully in his suit pocket, purloined discretely after he had attended a reception at the French Embassy ....but I have yet to be convinced of their place in the food chain.

I know some folk get quite violent about frogs,they seem to bring out the worst character traits possible !!

We attended a wedding once and in the midst of the nuptial vows, the father of the bride suddenly leapt in his top hat and tails, into the fish pond and started to beat a miscreant amphibian to death. (Obviously he had not been allowed o get enough beauty sleep at this vital and important but stressful time of his life !!)

Now I do not care to bludgeon them to death, I merely focus the torch on them, and blinded by the light, they allow me to carefully flip them into my bucket, using the lid as a lever.

Sometimes, when the hop behind a rock I have to actually touch them, and that is not very zesty I can tell you.

There are always three !! And so once I have collected all three I hastily get into the car, (lest they escape in the dark garage), and drive them five blocks away down to the Matsheumhlope River (affectionately know to the Bulawayo residents as "The Stench Trench")

There I release them gently on the banks of the river and I return home smugly, safe in the certainty that a good night's sleep lies ahead of me.

Funny you know, it takes them exactly a week to hop those five blocks back to the pond, and the whole palaver begins again !!