When one reaches a venerable age, one becomes conscious of dressing according to one's years!
Now my dear friend Margot never worried about this peculiar trait, she always dressed like a twenty one year old, and her long flowing tresses were testament to the fact that she was undoubtedly the Peter Pan of Bulawayo.
The rest of us adhere to the 'middle age' dress code and wear garments suitable for our age and stature in life!!
One is always a little scared of being nicknamed 'mutton dressed as lamb'!!
So there I was in the change room of a local department store before our trip to Mana Pools, the showroom attendant was not in the least bit interested in my dilemma of leopard skin 'jeggings' or plain black 'jeggings' !! She was busy examining her eyelashes in the showroom mirror!! (A jegging for the uninitiated is a trendy cross between jeans and leggings!!)
My love of fashion begged me to go with the leopard skin but my august age dictated that the black was far less conspicuous!! Imagine if, with my girth, I was mistaken for a pride carnivores!!
Those mirrors they have in the change rooms are undoubtedly 'skinny' mirrors, I looked lithe and sensuous, turning sideways I could almost imagine that I did not look like an over ripe toffee apple crossed with a polecat!! 'It fits perfectly' said the disinterested attendant, examining her nails laboriously. It did fit perfectly, in fact the jeggings fitted like a glove, showing ever curve, lump and bump. Even the addition of an Iversens tent as a top would not have covered these curves!!
High on shoppers euphoria, which is a known syndrome, I paid for my purchase and scurried out of the shop but seconds later I suffered another well known syndrome 'shoppers remorse'. What would HeeHoo say (never one to mince words) when I emerged from the tent at the campsite in the early morning light. Lucky no firearms are allowed at Mana Pools as he might well shoot me in mistake for some giant Panthera Pardus!!
By the time I got home I was in full blown shoppers remorse, I laid my leopard skin jeggings on the bed and rummaged through the cupboard for a suitable top!! Nothing leapt out and bit me, after all very little goes with leopard skin does it Shoes Tommy tackies would probably do but I was in no mood to swing by a Bata store right now!!
My shopping ability emanates solely from the glossy magazines I read on my six weekly trips to my hair stylist, so I had no idea what to wear with my new purchase, if only my Girls were here, they would give me the whole truth and nothing but the truth!! My Girls are brutally honest with their mother and are my greatest admirers and my most ardent critics at the same time.
Oh well HeeHoo, on being treated to a feline fashion show, will take a while to make judgement, he is after all a cautious man, and one who has forty years of wedded bliss behind him.
But once he garners enough husbandly strength, he will let me have it with both barrels, I am absolutely sure about that!!