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It's not that there is a power struggle in the Home, I must make that very clear from the beginning.
It is just that after 30 years of "wedded bliss " one must assert some authority occasionally. It is after all a known fact that the Matabele Husband likes to be in charge ...... or at least he likes to think that he is in charge .....
But it needs to be done..... especially when he drives every single car down to the last litre and then turns sweetly, very very slightly apologetically, proffering fuel coupons, and asks that I refuel the cars !!
Not a lot to ask of a wife one would think, but the problem is that there is one fuel coupon of every conceivable sort for every conceivable service station !!! And there is a mixture of petrol and diesel coupons, with the majority usable at Matshobana Filling Station, which is way out of town .....
The road to Matshobana has not had its pot holes filled yet, and one's only hope is to find a taxi and follow its path through the potholes, at break neck speed, dodging the police road blocks et al !!!
One also has to carry a container as fuel is only issued in multiples of twenty litres and one loses the fuel if it does not fit into the vehicle..... its not a task for the faint hearted trust me !!
When one arrives at the gas station one just has to hope that whatever car one is driving, one has the necessary diesel / petrol coupon and that diesel / petrol is available at that time, at that place and you are in the correct vehicle. !!! Its a nightmare I assure you ....
And so occasionally, very occasionally, one has to change one's subservient ways.
No more "Mrs Goody Two Shoes" !! Out of the window for a period goes the "Perfect Little Wife Pose" It's time to crawl out from underneath the kitchen sink, burn one's bra, and make one's mark on the marriage vows !!!!
Having listened dutifully recently, nodding in approval, at the changes the young brides make in their marriage vows, one has to wonder at the old fashioned promises. "TO LOVE, HONOUR AND OBEY ????
Mother said it, Grandmother said it, Great Granny also undoubtedly said it, but one must ensure two feisty daughters DO NOT say it !!
"LOVE HONOUR AND OBEY" we have been to numerous weddings recently and I am always impressed at the way the Bride adroitly has the last part of the wedding vows altered "just slightly" of course ....
Now the Matabele part of the husband gets dominant quite often in our house, but only when it suits him !! Off goes that sweet mantle of benign fatherly indulgence, on goes the leopard skin kaross and out comes the assegai ..... in a manner of speaking of course !!
Well when this happens one has to throw caution to the wind. Mother herself told me that a girl must never become a dogsbody, a wet blanket, a muddy carpet...... and so with a little careful planning, the Empire Strikes Back !!
All I have to do is move the shampoo !!
You see the shampoo must always go on the left of the shower, the conditioner must go on the right !! Since HeeHoo lost that piercing eye sight he has always had, he is like putty in my hands !!
The Family shower is like a Revlon Cosmetic counter, with two daughters both with glorious blond manes, the shower is festooned with shampoos, conditioners, hair straighteners, hair thickeners, revitalising hot oil treatments and so on and so forth.
The Fearless Warrior is reduced to a frothy mass of wrath instantly, without his glasses, eyes covered in delicious smelling bubbles, groping his way through the numerous bottles, he knows instantly who is the Boss in the House ...... oh and by the way, kindly fill your own cars from now onwards !!