LEAVE MY BUGS ALONE !
- 27/ 11/ 2006 <--Prev : Next-->
LEAVE MY BUGS ALONE !
We folk from the Third World are not in the least bit
daunted by Gypo Gut.
We just take it for granted that our water is dodgy
and take the necessary precautions, boiling, filtering
, drinking wine instead of water etc. etc.
And when one does get a 24 hour bug, one succumbs
graciously (?) and hopes that one might shed at least
a kilo or two if one is going to suffer the
indignities heretofor !!
However a recent trip to the Zambesi laid me lower
than low, and I probably would still be dragging
myself around mournfully had it not been that we were
two weeks later, found visiting She Who Must Sing who
lives in the First World.
HEEHOO was well brought up by his Three Girls, and
over the years knows that when Mum and daughters needs
the loo, it is something that requires immediate
attention, (especially during Gypo Gut Time.)
Heehoo, as a matter of course, on entering any
establishment, will do one of those three sixties he
used to do during his time in the army, and case the
joint immediately for the "Ladies Room" sign.
But BABY SHEEHOO has a most scary and imperious manner
which she no doubt inherited from HEEHOO, and one look
from her propelled me to visit a First World Family
Now, not only was this beautiful child , a doctor, she
was also young enough to be my daughter..... and as we
well know, all of us Baby Boomers who are left in
Bulawayo probably still have, as our MDs, the same
doctors who delivered us!!!
Mature Men indeed, with many hundreds of years of
medical experience, Doctors with extensive pedigrees
like Bernie Tatz and Peter Pretorius are still going
strong in Bulawayo !!
As I said earlier, Gypo Gut in Zimbabwe is just not
taken to a doctor, what would he be able to do for
goodness sake ? Except to throw one a free sample of
Immodium and tell you to "get on with it !!"
And so when this Sweet Child tenderly prodded and
pushed at my abdomen for the required length of time
and then sent me off with a giant package of goodies,
ordering me to produce four "samples" of whatever it
was that was annoying me, I became understandably
Imagine, just imagine, an innocent Texas laboratory
technician coming across something that was "made in
Zimbabwe" under his microsope !!
Horrors, there would be men in Hazmat Suits, and heavy
radio active boots, just like those ones you see on
Mars, crawling across the lawn outside SheeHoo"s
I can just see those smug men from Hazwoper (Hazardous
dragging me away, kicking and screaming to six weeks
isolation in the Centre for Tropical Diseases.
The whole of Waco would be closed down and "Ebola"
signs would be fastened everywhere !!
Oh no, I am keeping my germs to myself. I have spent
years building up this amazing Immune System of mine.
I have consumed many many glasses of suspect water
from Ncema Dam, partaken of many dodgy packets of
sausages that have been frozen, thawed, frozen, thawed
as the electricity has been turned off and on in the
hapless shops !!
No one is going to have sight of anything that might
be "Made in Zimbabwe" without my putting up a good
fight first !!