- 26/ 12/ 2005 <--Prev : Next-->
MY BROTHER GAVIN
In last week's mirror I said thank you to all the folk who enable
the distribution of the Morning Mirror, but there was one GIANT
omission, and for this I must apologise to my brother Gavin. Gavin
was the brilliant person who single handedly designed the Mirror
A masterpiece, in fact Gavin received a very prestigious award for
his design of a number of well known websites.
Without Gavin the Mirror would just not have happened, and I am
deeply sorry that I did not thank my precious Bro for all his hard
What email has done for me!
My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the
time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months.
Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poo in the glue on
envelopes cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to
seal an envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by UPS or Fed Ex
since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda
Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I
now have their recipe.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is
about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating
in their special e-mail program.
Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will
now return the favour!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next
7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhoea will land on
your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my
next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's